To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/08/16 13:58
Subject: Re: [K-list] karma judo the return
From: LK

> A wise witch I know once said, "If the Goddess you serve cannot
> >protect you from psychic attack, then you are serving the wrong
> >Goddess." I think that you are not serving the wrong Goddess, >therefore
>She is allowing this stuff through because it has some >purpose in your
>spiritual evolution. What happens if you stop trying >to fix them, and stop
>reacting to their stuff? How do you need to grow >within yourself, to not
>be so reactive I suspect the re-actions come >from the past history you
>mentioned.. find it, clear it.. be grateful >for it, look for the
>perfection in what was, and what Is.

Thanks for responding Angelique. Taken over by this angry voice, I am
slowly becoming aware of behavioural structures created over 10 years ago in
self-defense that still reign in my interactions. Am realizing that the
universe is giving me a chance to heal wounds that I could not prevent at
the time due to others having power over me and that this is a gift...and
that the way to change the past (or present) is forgiveness. Am also
realizing that their power may have been an illusion of circumstance and
finance, and that I am still partially trapped in the illusion that Grace is
now giving the green light to release.

> Boundaries become more fuzzy and hard to defend if you are
> >projecting energy outwards. Examine your projections. Turn your energy
> >inward. You have some beliefs.. that your parents are in pain, that >they
>reject you unconsciously for your sexuality.. I am sure there are >more.
>What happens if you surrender all of your opinions and judgments >about
>your parents, and clean the slate? To stop the war, you stop >shooting
>first. Quit aiming these projections and beliefs at your >parents.

Guess I am resistant cause I feel like the sacrificial lamb (which I need to
surrender) and there was (or is) a time when their beliefs were like weapons
so I still have a lot of fear of persecution and oppression. This reminds
me of victims who are waiting for their victimizer to learn before they can
heal themselves, which is a form of self torture which I am very good at. It
is just so hard when I percieve their beliefs to be the seeds of
persecution, but I am persecuting them with my judgements about their
judgements. I am trying to transcend this attacker/attackee binary and stare
myself in the face.

If the battle is over, why keep revisiting the battlefield, eh? Masochism?
To prevent the cycle from repeating, that keeps repeating cause I keep
trying to prevent it? To prove something? To be seen?

Alas

Thanks for your support, this is a big stumbling block in my life,

Respectfully,
Laura K

http://www.kundalini-gateway.org

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