To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/08/10 21:37
Subject: [K-list] small requesting. . ..
From: Panthur212
On 2001/08/10 21:37, Panthur212 posted thus to the K-list:
*quietly* dear all,
I beg that you forgive my ranting. And my whining. I appologize
ahead of time....
to any and all on the list who would choose to respond. .??
I have given very very little to this place- -and it seems odd of me
to ask, just now, for what I would ask. . .
a thousand answers bound within my mind, and I let them go as they
each wrap around me in their gossamer multitude, working themselves
deeper to aide me as I reach for them . .
I would like to- -um. . I would like to request a bit of
healing. . .? please. any healing. . .for myself. a prayer, a
blessing, a nano-second of a thought-sent smile. . .Anything. . .
I have tried to write myself out three times now, with no success- -
and two of those times was to this list . . *gently* I am lost, and
my heart is fizzing in a way that makes me wish to cry, badly. . . I
think I might, though I am tired. I want to shout out or simply
speak, of a hundred things that I might begin the letting go of them-
-but cannot just now beacuse the words, they hide. I burn inside to
talk, and to rest in arms- -and I am so- - - frustrated, and alone. .
I feel alone. . . I feel lost and found at the same time- - and know
that this , too, shall pass- -but am hurting and lost and rather
afraid. Something turns within me, working to change- -and I am . .
Afraid. Just afraid. Just another type of resistance, and Goddess
IS with me- -*smiles, softly* Patiently waiting, I am sure, outside
of my damned , self-imposed bubble. . .
*a soft sigh, shiver, and hugs self* But I'm scared, and it hurts- -
and oh- -I almost forogt. I feel very- -um. . .alone. and there's
more... *laughs, gently* butI couldn't say if I wanted to. It's
profound, and I'm just being a bloody whiner. . . . I want to ball
up and go to sleep and wake up, realizing that it's alright. (which
it is.. . .but--oh, balls!! I'm contradicting myself, again!!).
And I realize suddenly how hillarious this is- me, sitting here,
sharing this with you- - and at the same time, it's reality. :0)
Now i understand the sense of humour. please, all of you, please,
forgive me my whining.
but- -please, also. . *quietly* and Thankyou. anything will do,
and Goddess has it handled. . .so I suppose that those who are meant
to find the meaning behind my ridiculous ranting, will do so. . .
gods- -help. . and I thankyou.. *smiles, softly*
hugs, and Thankyous. .
Jason~
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
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