To: K-list 
Recieved: 2001/08/01  14:03  
Subject: [K-list] Re:shamanic initiation 
From: Joyful Fairy
  
On 2001/08/01  14:03, Joyful Fairy posted thus to the K-list: Here's Paco's email that he sent me. :) 
ug, sorry it's all out of alignment.  
Rebeckah
 
hi there,  
it felt good to read your post because i identified with your  
feelings,  
especially when you said , "what if i don't want to become a shaman?" 
 
funny, i am in the midst of a shamanic initiation/awakening which  
began about  
less than five years ago in my last year of college, like you i  
refused it  
and was terrified of becoming, for me its a spritual warrior, adn  
like i said  
i was terrified, it shatters your sense of reality and stability 
 
however, you know there's a lot of help out there if you just seek it  
out, in  
particular there's a network called the Spiritual Emergence Network  
and it  
gives out references and support to people undergoing spiritual  
emergence and  
crisis, because often this is a crisis in someone's life, htey give  
you  
numbers for therapists in your area who have training in these areas,  
many  
who have gone through the same stuff, whether kundalini awakening,  
shamanic  
inititiation, psychic opening, ufo abduction, near death experiences,  
or even  
existential crisis, among other stuff, they're based in san  
francisco, CA    
and their telephone number is (415) 648-2610, i suggest you call htem  
up and  
chat with them and see what they can do, they also have a website,  
there's a  
couple you can see, one try searching "spiritual emergence and CIIS"  
CIIS is  
the California Institute of Integral Studies, the school from which  
the  
network sprang form i believe, another is do a search for "spiritual  
emergence and David Lukoff"  he is a pioneer in the field and has  
developed a  
website for this stuff, both are great websites, another search  
is "Shared  
Transformations"  a website about spiritual emergence, but it focuses  
more on  
kundalini i think 
 
if you can't find these send a post and i'll get the web addresses 
 
if Spiritual Emergence Network cannot find you a therapist in your  
area, it  
may be a good idea to drive a couple of hours if you need to, if  
possible, i  
don't know where you live, but also if this doenst work maybe you  
could find  
a good traditional therapist who is open to it and can guide you  
through any  
issues that come up, or even a healer, someone you connect with i  
think is  
important.  I had a transpersonal therapist for a short while who  
introduced    
me to alot of stuff, however i moved and eventually  worked with a  
regular  
therapist who helped me alot.    
let me say this too, i tried to do it alone for good parts of the  
intense  
periods, i suggest you find someone to  help you, you do not have to  
do it  
alone!   
 
though also when you say you don't want ot cheat by seeing someone, i  
know  
what you're talking about, its like a trial where you feel you MUST  
you MUST,  
or else!  for me i was afraid of being a coward and not following my  
heart,  
for me this would be the worst thing i could do to myself, this fear  
propelled me onto accept it, i think that's probably what your guides  
want is  
for you to surrendur, i think you can get help with this, i don't see  
why  
not, Ask yourself, go inside and see what your heart says, and listen  
to the  
little voice, that says please listen to me.  
though, one thing i think is very important for you to know, although  
i know  
you're seeking for guides and a map, which i believe can be very  
important  
and helpful, i'll share that for me it was important to understnad  
that each  
person's path is different, for you it might be different than anyone  
else's  
path, from anyone on this list's or mine or any you read about, YOU  
define  
your path, you can also have power over how you want to do this, i  
know the  
pressure is intense and scary sometimes (from the spirits) and we do  
have to  
like the ohter post said, surrendur, that is part of the process,  
(for me it  
was) but you're not surrenduring to anyone or anything, you are  
surrenduring  
to yourself, to your own process, YOU are the guide on this path,  
nobody  
else,  waht you believe is what you will create,   
 
the transformation is like going into a new stage of life where you  
are just  
growing into a new part of yourself, your destiny, if you are  
destined to do  
this,  
i thought my journey was going to be like dan millman's (Way of the  
Peaceful  
Warrior) adn my beliefs created my experience of how some of hte  
episodes of  
my initiation went, i suggest you ask god foir guidance, ask Him/Her,  
whatever you call IT, ask god- go inside yourself and  ask god to  
guide you  
through this, by connecting with god you are connecting with  
something more  
powerful than anything, more powerful than your fear etc., also it  
will guide  
you to understanding and to the help you desire. 
 
these are just my thoughts and i hope they help.  i am still in hte  
initiation process and i am still learning, and my advice comes  
purely from  
experience 
 
furhter i am still learning what exactly the concept shaman implies,  
and  
again for me it may be different than for anyone else, besides the  
fact that  
there may be core features to it, but again are we not moving into a  
new  
point of development where boundaries are crossed and new definitions  
are  
made, or rather we expand our understanding of stuff?  I don't konw  
i'm still  
learning.  a definition is relative anyhow isn't it?   
 
one last thing, i think a discussion group for shamanism would be  
great,  
there is one at The foundation for shamanic studies website but its  
currently  
down.   
 
one last last thing, i'd be interested to hear what your experiences  
are that  
lead you to believe you may be having a call to shamanism. if you  
like.    
good luck and i hope its all helpful. 
 
Paco  
 
  
 
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