To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/07/29 20:04
Subject: [K-list] shamanic initation
From: joyful fairy

This is kind of weird and I don't know where to go with it. I've been given
*hints* that what I'm going through is a shamanic initation thing, thru this
disease that I have. At first I was rather peeved by the whole thing, I
mean, what if ~I~ don't want to be a shaman? LOL!
Anyway, of course, I surrendered my little will about it, and if the
initation ends up killing me {which sure seems possible sometimes}, it
doesn't matter too much to me anymore. I surrendered all my life and my
death too. Was that the point? ya' think? :)

Um, so other than wanting to publically admit surrender someplace where it
would be accepted {thank you for that}. I wanted to ask if anybody can give
me ANY kind of information about initation on a physical level? I don't know
what to do. I keep *asking* and strangely, this is the only time in my life
where I haven't gotten any answers or guidance from Spirit. I want to do
some healing work, but I am concerned that it would be *cheating on the
test*, and then I'd have to repeat a test that's HARDER later in life. No
thanks on that one, ok? :) I'm a bit confused about this, and then at other
times, I surrender it and no longer care what happens. {Ah, the ego drive to
*understand*. sheesh!}

I did some web searches for shamanism, but it all seemed to skim the top
over and over, or talk about some weird drug trips. I'd like answers,...
like how do I know if I'm going thru a shamanic initiation? And what do I do
about it? Is having some healing/energy work done cheating? Can I speed it
up? hehe {as if}

And yes, I've already been to western Drs and they put me on prednisone
which just made it all worse & there's not much else they can do. Thanks for
any responses. :)
joy,
Rebeckah
 

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