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To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/07/23 07:18
Subject: Re: [K-list] Priestesses
From: José H

On 2001/07/23 07:18, José H posted thus to the K-list:

Hi Serena,

You really touched me with your tale of becoming-you. Please keep writing
them!
One thing made me realise something new again...

> I got an interesting set of messages from her-
> "Sexuality is a wonderful powerful thing and not dirty or evil,
> but you have ~got~ to hide it or you will be a target."
>
> I did try to hide "it" but it didn't want to be hid, and I was a target
> anyway...

Got more or less the same message from my mother, so at 18 I was quite sexy
and attractive, but shy and hiding my sexuality-but not-really, this kind of
thing. Naive and seducing. Then I was raped at 18, and later on in my
twenties I was attacked twice again(forgot the english word for
nearly-raped, like touched etc. but not raped)
But at 35, no longer afraid of my sexual power, men would be turning their
heads for me on the streets because I was quite radiant. I was 15 years
older obviously, even have some scars in my face - that belong to my body
now and are accepted as part of my life and history (you basically see them
only from a short distance and when I speak)
I could go out dancing and feel so strong, I was sure I could take every man
in there home if I wanted - but none of them dared approach me unless I let
them.

So it isn't the sexual power I am still afraid of, it is the power of
insight, that - I know - I can use to hurt people: slap them in the face
with their own truth if they do not respect me. The thing is: I do this with
my partner sometimes - and it doesn't work as a confrontation - just a way
of hurting.
Only if I can feel my strenght and my own selfrespect, then I can confront
people with their truths without hurting them, in a loving way, and they can
receive it.
Yes, maybe it's the witches that hunt eachother the most.

But why? If there is plenty of everything, which I do believe, there is no
reason.

Love, José


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