To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/06/21 08:43
Subject: Re: [K-list] reflections on "selfish" and what love really is
From: Stephanie
On 2001/06/21 08:43, Stephanie posted thus to the K-list:
--- CLEOCATRAsATnospamaol.com wrote:
> > I am trying to teach myself to be selfish. It is
> really hard for me to do
> this, but I am starting to like it
Cat,
I think selfish is a word that needs to be
re-evaluated. I think selfish is the only way to
really heal, and to really love others, because we
have to love ourselves first. People think that
selfish is against others. I found that in my life,
when I started to learn to do what is good for my
needs, when I started thinking about my own desires
and goals and answering my own heart, then I began to
have the fullness from which I could really give from
love and not some sense of what love should be. I
think it is so hard to remember that we must first be
full before we can really learn to give to others. If
we give to others out of our un-resolved heart, we
create more dissonance eventually. Resentment in
ourselves and only more hunger and empty and tired
longing lingering in the hearts of those around us.
I don't always catch up on the mail here....it is too
much for me to wade through and I haven't been around
the computer much lately, but I wanted to say hello to
Benoit, so if you read this Benoit, a smile from your
friend in Dallas.
And for Jonathan, if you are around, the
reverberations are talking if you listen. You may
have to put your ear to the ground if the fro is too
much there.....Hope you are well.
As far as some of the posts here, I find them
baffling. I don't know why they seem so odd to
me...like they have a bunch of different subtle jabs
and little wounds and agendas, leaking through the
sentiments and the consciouss intentions and then
making this odd hodgepodge effect in my brain, like I
get fuzzy even trying to recieve what is being said.
Maybe it is just me, or maybe we could ask ourselves
what is making us so angry before we get really
acerbic and camoflage little verbal nails dying to
pierce some skin and call it humor or being clever.
I think clever doesn't have to bite, and also, is
there a reason we need to be clever with each other? I
mean, if it comes from the heart and it is from a
silly or fun mood it is one thing, but maybe I'm just
not at all in the same wave length as a lot of what I
read. Maybe I just have no humor and don'g get the
punch lines.
I don't speak of any post in paticular, but just an
overall discomfort I have sometimes reading things
here, but it is my deal, but I wanted to say I had
mixed feelings about this.
Anyway, Cat, I totally agree with you on the selfish
thing. Selfish is the most loving thing I've ever
done for myself. I am alive today because of
decisions I made that many called selfish. Maybe we
are all too paranoid of appearances to be truly
loving, that is, to be selfish, so we conform to a
false and unfullfilling self--lessness, which is
mostly LESS because the self isn't there yet, it
hasn't had the chance to grow to fullness yet.
Just thoughts on form,
Stephanie
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
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