To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/06/06 15:32
Subject: [K-list] Hey dudes
From: Le Chien Du Cosmos
On 2001/06/06 15:32, Le Chien Du Cosmos posted thus to the K-list:
Hey, happy to have found this most interesting egroup!
I am a regular hatha yoga-er/pranayam-er/meditator for about a year
now.
I learned all my techniques through the Art Of Living organization
founded by Sri Sri Ravi Shankar.
Since it's a big organization and there are no really advanced
devotees in this area, I don't really hang with people from it much
(although there is a weekly satsang here in Cini. that I have gone to
a number of times). Because of this, my 'path' is somewhat isolated
and I don't get to talk to anybody about my experiences 'cause
everybody thinks this kind of stuff is nutty and my mom thinks I'm
part of some cult or something and she can't stand that I have a
regular sadhana that I try to do daily (I miss a day or two here and
there every once in a while).
Even my older brother who is into wicca thinks the stuff that I do is
'weird'!
Well, anyway, I have had some experiences that sound similar to what
might be called kundalini from what I've read but they aren't regular
or all that intense or anything (well, they're intense for ME
anyway). The first time I had this particular experience I was just
meditating really late at like 3am or something. I was starting to
fall asleep and for all I knew I had fallen asleep when suddenly I
just jolted out of sleep into this really funky state where my body
felt warm and electrified and my mind was very intense and focused. I
was quite startled and scared, but I also thought it would be weird
to just get up and run away from it, so I sat there for a while and
it eventually died out.
I was scared 'cause in I didn't know much about that stuff and
thought maybe I had been posessed or something!
It's happened a number of times since then but not with any real
regularity. When I think back to when it's happened, I get it
confused with another experience I have that I think most people have
in meditation where you experience that you have a body inside of
your physical body that seems to be bigger and it can expand really
big and also, you will feel like you are "floating" but if you open
your eyes, you are still right where you are physically.
For a while I got obsessed with that, 'cause I figured that must be
the astral body and that somehow I could get it to disconnect so that
I could have an "out of body" experience. I just thought that would
be delightful, but I couldn't ever get out of my body. I just kept
floating within a specific range and no matter where I focused I
couldn't complete my "mission". I gave up mainly because I realized
that experiences aren't the point of meditation and my meditation
should be devotional and not trying to cultivate silly paranormal
abilities and experiences.
Anyway, another time that I had the kundalini-type experience, I had
been meditating and then I went to bed right afterwards. I had that
same experience of waking up into the experience and was once again
startled, but I wasn't really scared. It was just weird because I
wasn't meditating or anything. I was just lying there on my side
sleeping and and just woke up with that static electiricity feeling
and intense focus. I just continued to lay there and go with it until
it passed after some amount of time (I can't ever sense how long I'm
in the state - I lose all concept of time.)
Otherwise, my experiences in meditation are pretty much just the
experience of coming into the present and feeling that unconditional
happiness. I often start laughing and giggling during meditation for
no reason. I just feel 'neat'. Also, it's a feeling of 'coming home'
- like you are sitting at the center of everything.
When starting meditation, I always start with the breath, then I take
every sense experience and bring it into my awareness and I make it
part of my meditation. This way, happenings around me that may be
considered 'distractions' are just part of the whole experience.
After putting everything in check, and just staying aware of those
things for a while, all of those things fade away for the most part
and you can go deeper into yourself without being distracted.
Uh, gee, I don't what else to say.
I thought the stories from some of you of your experiences with
kundalini making you virtually invincible were incredible. I've never
heard of anything like that. It's wonderful that you all had a
'helper' to get through such aweful circumstances. I certainly
wouldn't have made it through such experiences.
I certainly haven't experienced a real kundalini 'awakening' although
I may have had some glimpses of it.
It saddens me because with my own situation, I am getting so much
into sprituality now and am starting that journey, but I am still
struggling with the basics- namely sex. My desire for it is
incredible and up until now, I have repeatedly spoiled my brain with
pornography and now I'm coming into this thing and I realize what
I've been doing to myself the past 10 years or so and I feel kind of
helpless. I've completely habituated my mind to always think of
nearly every female I see in a sexual manner.
I mean, I can drop the pornography (pretty much already have) and
maybe the masturbation (on my 4th day in yet ANOTHER attempt), but
the urge to defile nearly every female I see with my mind? If I had a
dime for every time I almost crashed my car because I 'had' to turn
my head to check a girl out walking on the side of the street or in
another car...
I'm just sick of this desire. It does nothing for me and just gives
me greater misery.
I know that's personal stuff, but I don't really care. I think it's
pretty run-o-the-mill stuff for people just starting out on THE PATH.
WHOA!!! That was long! SORRY!!!!
SPACEDAWG
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
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