To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/05/31 11:42
Subject: [K-list] introducing...
From: Jason G
On 2001/05/31 11:42, Jason G posted thus to the K-list:
Hey , List § - :0)
Stranger me, but willing and wanting to learn. . . New to the list
and all that, and getting familiar with the topic. I got the idea: ´Hey!
It might be fun to say hi to the list- -´, and then realized that, as
always, I didn´t exactly know where to start, or what I wanted to say. So I
hope you don´t mind the innanity- -but I do plan to ask a question!
Great fun, that. Hoy. - - but my name is Jason, and here I am. I´m
interested and more than in the topic and- —gods, well how does one say
it??? My first and immediate idea is to simply crumple indianstyle at the
feet of all your experience, and soak in whatever I can…. I do sincerely
want to learn, and grow -- ¤softly¤ and then there´s something distinctly
more; that I can´t put my finger on, but it burns brightly inside of me-
-IS me- - and I yearn for it. . . and I´m feeling a bit- - I don´t know….
Lost? Not lost- -I have direction, I have purpose; but I don´t- - I
don´t know…..how?
Why? Why is because I am consumed by the Love of it all. Serving, i
would wish- - - -serving as vessel and. . more. .? But this is my
dream, and it seems so strange to share it with so many. . . . two of
you have heard it before, and have answered me beautifully. And I thank
you for pointing me again to the list.
But okay, that´s that for now, and here´s the question.
:0) I´m attempting (doing?) to put ´Surrender´ into practice. Surrender
to the Divine flow of things, to the Divine. ´Thy will, not my will- -´
and I think many of you are rather familiar with it. Heh. But my question
is: Can I do that too much???
When I´m confused, hurt, or Seeking answers or help for myself or others- -
-I surrender. I´m surrendering right now, as I write this letter. . . .
Sometimes I surrender also if I KNOW I´ve made some sort of mistake (helping
to fix it or hoping that maybe it wasn´t as much a mistake as I feel it
was)?. . . . I do it almost automatically now, and gods, sometimes
it´s so beautiful……
Surrendering blocks, surrendering self, inhibitions?- -If I´m looking
for something, I simply surrender and let God(dess) carry me on the wave;
letting things pop up and then acting on them as best I can- - but my
question is: Should I be doing something more?? Shouldn´t -
-shouldn´t I be up and Doing something instead of just putting all of my
burdens on Faith in the Divine and letting God(dess) do all this work for
me??? Is it okay for me to be surrendering so much- - or should I be
pushing myself more to get up and DO something other than handing it over to
someone else to handle……
It seems too easy- -?
….so many things to learn….. I hope that none of you are angry for
hearing this. But I feel unsure if what I am doing is- -. . …. Well, I´d
like to hear your oppinions. :0) I can almost sense the answer, and feel
it´s branches- - but I can´t quite put it into words. I´m getting the
feeling that this whole thing is gonna Domino on me.
:0) But thanking you all for hearing me,
Blessings,
Jason§
P.S. § Hey Mark. Nice to see another student out there. ¤laugh¤
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