To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/05/13 22:35
Subject: Re: [K-list] fem abusers
From: Xerxenca

Hi Christopher,

So, did I understand you right, that you felt abused by your mother? And that
you had made peace with her and were able to be with them (?) when they died?
That is indeed a blessing. . .

And also that you think women molesting boys is more common than the stats
might reveal? I do believe all such incidences (men/women/boys/girls) are
underreported - all the way around. As for "lies, damn lies and statistics" -
well, certainly - sure. Much of my work involves statistics - and numbers can
certainly be manipulated. But I don't think there's some great conspiracy
going on here. Mainly numbers represent categories of things we define - and
our definitions can be as imprecise as our language and our consciousness.
And I think culturally it's harder for us to put words or definitions on male
victimization as males are expected to be aggressive. . .

And did I understand that you would like the discussion to be gender neutral
so that you will feel more invited to share your experiences? I certainly
invite you to do so. Although a discussions of sexual abuse (or any aspect of
sexuality today) without discussing gender and power is almost inconceivable
to me.

I know my brother felt victimized by my mother, not physically, but by her
resentment of men. I have a male friend whose mother fondled him as a child.
I know that she primarily dealt with people in an automatic highly-charged
sexualized ways. I also know that she had been repeatedly raped by her
father. And she came from a country and a time when there was little external
resource to help resolve it. But we're clearly in a different place and time.

I hear both you and Cat - and honestly - I don't see any of it as mutually
exclusive. God(dess) bless us, everyone.

Xenca

http://www.kundalini-gateway.org

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