To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/03/20 05:35
Subject: [K-list] Of kids with guns and other things
From: Christopher Wynter
On 2001/03/20 05:35, Christopher Wynter posted thus to the K-list:
There were some who thought that the question I posed to
therapists was a hypothetical. I can assure you it was not.
During my work, there have been a number of cases which
have had an impact on my life .. and perhaps this one has
had more than most .. for there are still tears in me when
I remember Bobby .. or when we reconnect.
Deliberately, I referred to the Kid .. some suggested a male
and yet others suggested a female. I am not going to reveal
what the kid's gender was, because, from experience, this
story crosses the boundaries of gender .. I have worked with
both males and females who have had the same issues ..
One drizzly afternoon, I was wandering through a city park in
Hobart .. a place where many of the feral kids hang out ..
those kids who do not have a home, and often spend their
nights sleeping on newspapers in the convict hewn tunnels
of the Rivulet which runs under the city. There have been
some drowned when a flash flood has caught them unawares,
their bodies being flushed out into the open canal which runs
beside the main hospital.
Bobby was huddled against a tree, away from the group ..
quite alone. Some inner sense caused me to approach and
quietly, gently, I asked "would you like to talk?".
Bobby looked up with tear filled eyes .. and the expression in
those eyes shook me. Here was someone who knew more
than I did .. there was a depth and an intensity I have seen
since, but never before.
I told Bobby that .. and the eyes turned away and down for an
instant .. but, in that initial contact, something intangible had
happened .. somehow a line of trust had been established.
Bobby seemed very young .. and I figured was probably both
hungry and thirsty .. "Can I get you a Burger or a Drink , I'm
hungry", I said.
There was a shy, almost imperceptible nod .. I asked Bobby
to wait while I went to the shop .. "If your'e not here when I get
back, that's OK .. I'll give it to someone else"
But Bobby was there .. having run away from home and school
three days previously, nothing much was else offering in the
way of sustenance .. we go talking ..
Bobby had trouble at school .. and at home .. done the rounds
of the therapy clinics and the psychiatrists and been put on
medication .. but to me, there was something else .. I could
see it, I could feel it .. there was a gun which Bobby thought
was the only way out.
Father was a busy business executive and a Pastor in one of
the local churches. Mother was busy with the younger children
and organising church events. Neither had any time for Bobby ..
Well .. that was the story I got .. and it turned out to be very true
Bobby opened up to me a whole lot more.
Bobby had a place to crash for a few more nights, and I
promised I'd be back by that tree the next day ..
Over the next few days, a trust developed between us .. following
a "gut instinct" I contacted a few people I knew .. and got referred
on to a couple of others. The process that follows is a longer
story than is room for here ..
But suffice it to say .. I got Bobby into a safe house .. talked to the
school, told the parents .. and got some IQ tests done .. which
confirmed what I felt, the first time I looked into those eyes ..
Bobby clean sheeted every test .. an IQ in the top 2% ever recorded.
Two years have gone past .. Bobby is 15 and never did become
what Mother and Father hoped for or expected.
The Irony .. Father was retrenched and now Bobby supports the
whole family on a salary greater than the former combined income
of his parents
Bobby never did go back to school as a student .. there was a
remarkable change of both heart and attitude, and one of Bobby's
part time interests is teaching advanced computer programming
at both his old school.. and the local Adult Education College.
One thing Bobby said to me which I will always remember
"If you got rid of all the people that I have been sent to
who call themselves therapists ..
I wouldn't feel like I needed a gun"
A few years ago, there was a survey done of the homeless drunks
and derelicts around the hovels of Sydney. This survey showed
that 80% were former professionals or had University degrees.
16 years ago, this was the only option I saw in my life ..
as I watched it fall apart around me .. but a chance encounter
stopped me jumping in front of a speeding train ..
Christopher Wynter
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