To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/01/28 22:33
Subject: [K-list] Being bugged was Re: A Second Story for Amy
From: Divine Goddess

Dear Cat,

I am bugged...got my buttons pushed good and it brought me out of my
bed to write. (which is a good indicator I should go back to bed with
my mirror :) ).

I am curious why you must forstall Death with your formidable will or
why you believe you do? Why do you choose when people die?

What this brings up for me...feeling all this whirling, maelstrom of
energies like a tornado moving thru the list..is this (and this has
everything to do with me :) ...

Sure, there are enablers but there are rescuers also. With the
victims they all make a potent and heinous karmic triumvirate. Uck.
Makes me shiver. (Obviously, I still have some work to do.) It's
probably because when I left being a victim I became an angry
victimizer and I still haven't gotten over my urge to B*tch slap
whiners and humilate enablers and barf when people rescue. Hell, I
like to beat the crap out of all them and yell, WAKE UP! Damn, I
should just quit apologizing for feeling that way and make it into a
business. What an energy exchange that would be!

It boils down to me believing in respecting choices and not letting
myself be drawn into the vampire energy suck games of the triumvirate.

Being caught in the throes of an addictive personality illusion is
not unknown to me. It's a purulent, initimate form of
craziness.But,going crazy is a choice.

Everything I do I choose to do, either consciously or unconsciously.
Most of us, including me, live or have lived by default, letting
others makes our choices for us while we are unconsciously awake.

Knowing that I can make choices in the moment, no matter how small
they may appear to others, is tremendously liberating and empowering.

Death serves a purpose. In my opinion, it is a transformation of
energy, an evolution of form.

There is only love. Every particle, evey part and bit and proton of
Creation is the shimmering light of Consciousness. Everywhere we look
is perfection...even death and sickness and addiction.

If only, in every waking, sleeping instantaneous moment of awareness
I lived my life as if I believed it were true.

If only I looked at every human being as Perfection...

I am remembering...

Krishnamurti: "The moment you have in your heart this
extraordinary thing called love and feel the depth, the delight, the
ecstasy of it, you will discover that for you the world is
transformed."

Let me love more.

Laying down with my mirror again,
Susan

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