To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/01/08 16:47
Subject: [K-list] The Evolution of the Universal Soul and my own (?)
From: Chris Seidel
On 2001/01/08 16:47, Chris Seidel posted thus to the K-list:
All this talk about Spiritual/Kundalini Evolution I find very intriguing,
and it makes me question whether its palpable effects are
manifesting in my life at this very time.
I would recommend a book called "Conscious Evolution" by Barbara Marx
Hubbard for those who are unconvinced of the scientific evidence behind a
heightening trend towards a global spiritually-based consciousness and the
manifestations of spiritual activity upon other souls on this earth. I
welcome any comments and/or insights for those who are familiar with this
work.
I am working currently with a Russian Healer, who I am more and more
convinced has a very clear channel with higher spiritual energies. This
past week, while using his video and audio tapes, and using Mystress'
grounding visualization, I have had more and more of a burning sensation in
my heart chakra, feeling the energies swirling and penetrating that area
more aggressively than I have ever experienced before. When I imagine the
goddess sending her pulsating energy back into my chest from the earth,
expanding into an oval which expands over my physcial body, and hold my
breath while I imagine the receiving energy plume over my head and up
towards the heavens....this is when the rush is most vibrant...I hold my
breath for seven seconds...but often cannot...for the influx of energy
streaming through my etheric body is almost unbearable...I am afraid of
collapsing if I were to hold my breath any longer....
When I release my breath, still visualizing the plume and stream of utter,
glorious white light above me...I feel overcome with such a rush of
penetrating energy that concentrates on my heart center, my consciousness
almost blinded by the feeling of pure energy.
I can still feel the energy without the visualization but it is not as
intense, nor as "present" within me.
Do any of you have any suggestions for me...am I proceeding too quickly in
inviting the energy in my body...or should I continue to use the
visualization and breathing rhythm to stimulate the rush of energy within
me????
This is a time in my life when I feel an almost utter desperation to find
Goddess and know her within me...I feel such undeniable dissappointment in
my longings to know the greatest love in my soul...turning towards my
religion or a never manifesting romantic fantasy for comfort...never knowing
my so deep longing realized in these contexts...only growing
dissappointments, disgust at myself for all of the church's anti-sexual
prohibitions, and seeing life as a tremendously lacking vehicle for
manifesting these glorious emotions buried within my soul. Life only seems
to want to burry them deeper...now in this break-up with Jenny, the "ideal"
of a relationship that I have been raised with broken and vanished...not
knowing or really wanting to proceed with the whole "dating" scene that I
have not been a part of for 22 years...not knowing where else to turn for
comfort but within. I try to cover it up with my "yes..I can do it"
attitude, but such a deep part of me feels utterly betrayed by what has come
my way and I feel to a large part powerless to change it (although I will
keep on believing that I can....). Goddess help show me how I can.
Thank you for letting me feel free to express myself on this list.
love al,
Chris.
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