To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/12/11 22:30
Subject: [K-list] 'Chance favors prepared minds'
From: Elam Ashman
On 2000/12/11 22:30, Elam Ashman posted thus to the K-list:
[the subject line of this message was found this morning on a local
insurance agency's billboard!]
good evening, K listers!
i find myself so very wide awake at the moment, so much energy within - the
charge is so electric, i keep thinking "will i ever have to sleep again?"
everyone else seems to feel it, too -- so many smiles everywhere, people
getting drunk and drowning out the worries of the week (it's finals week
here at florida state), radios blaring, car wrecks all over the place,
etc...
since joining the list (10 days ago), it seems as if everything is rapidly
aligning -- synchronicity is the term i so frequently encounter, and it is
just that. all things seem to be working in my favor, in one way or the
other; all experiences ('good' and 'bad') have all been working for me, and
thank God that i am finally seeing this. i think that it's an awareness that
there is no chance, no luck, no coincidence -- each moment of each day is a
direct manifestation of my thoughts and desires. every single moment is a
converge of limitless energies into a single point, that instantaneous
'moment'. this thought has been churning in my mind almost relentlessly --
it's the realization that the past represents countless scattered
after-effects, the future holds countless possibilities, and the only
instance of perfection (the 'convergence' of all past effects and future
possibilities) lies in this very instant.
now, dealing with something infinitely far from this very moment. i spent
most of saturday afternoon at the park, enjoying the warmth of the sun --
lying down, using my backpack as a pillow, headphones on, eyes closed, my
mind somewhere between 'awake' and 'asleep'. a wonderful afternoon, it was a
good feeling to know that finals week would soon be over with, and i would
be soon home for the holidays. now, the weirdness of it all: would it be so
strange to say that i have the strangest notion that i am still at the park?
i have been trying to remember as many aspects of each moment, if in fact i
do 'wake up' in the park, flooded with memories of a lengthy and
convincingly realistic dream. i went back to the park this morning and sat
across the lake -- gazing across the lake at the very spot that i had
rested, almost able to see myself still there. it's impossible for me to
fully describe this sensation, i'm sure that many of you have had similar
experiences in one way or the other.
now jumping back to two saturdays ago - it was late in the evening (sunday
morning, technically), and i had been meditating and practicing spontaneous
yoga for several hours (i frequently find myself being influenced into
certain poses, some times I will let that 'urge' take over completely and I
find myself moving and breathing without any conscious control of the
process). In the blink of an eye, I found myself at the center of an 'orb'
with no boundaries. now, if you can imagine that you're at the very center
(the 'core') of such a rotating sphere, the rate rotation is almost
inconceivable.... trillions of miles out into the orb, what seemed like a
slow rotation would be incredibly energetic - centrifugal (icentripetal?
both?) force, or something like that. any way, the orb was filled with small
squares of every imaginable color...each square was what seemed to be a
different existence - a different reality -- a different 'plane' -- whatever
you would like to call it. there were more different little domains of
existence in my vision than there are atoms in the universe, a truly
limitless expanse of realities. it was incredible. i began to notice that
many of the different dimensions were actually tied to each other; i was
reminded of a crystalline structure -- lots of individual chains of
realities forming a 'whole' in themselves, then those chains grouping with
other chains to form a greater 'whole', and so on. so i grasped one of the
chains of planes (ha!) and pulled it toward the very center of the orb (my
location) to examine it. as I pulled this string of dimensions closer for
inspection, zap! eyes wide open, sat straight up. there was no way that i
could sleep, so i went back to meditating. at one point, i found myself
gazing at my own image in the mirror. my entire image began floating in the
mirror -- at times, my entire body would disappear -- i could only see the
image of my floating head. then, my head began to transform. i saw myself,
but asian -- dark long hair tied into a 'bun' on the top of my head, an
asian male (my father has previously mentioned that he, my mother, and I
were once 'pals' in a monastery somewhere in china). again i saw my face,
but at the same time, it was also the face of christ. the third 'self' i
encountered was my face again, but a teenage girl, wearing a headband. that
was enough for me to handle for the night, and it was 6:30 am at this point.
I was awake till almost 10am sunday morning (having been awake since sunrise
on Saturday morning!), so very charged with energy.
one last little thing to say (I seem to have so much I feel like 'getting
out' this evening!). I have been studying the 'wheels of light' for almost a
year now, finding myself reading and dabbling, practicing for a while, then
putting things on the back burner for a few more weeks, only to find myself
practicing some more. i have never attempted to change the flow of my
energies, all that i have always done has been to practice observing the
energies and becoming aware of them. I figure that awareness of something
is, in itself, enough to effect change. i have always felt as if my energy
centers have been quite active, but moreso in the emission of (rather than
reception of) energies, if that makes any sense. i used to sleep a LOT, on
average of ten hours a day - if i had had less than eight hours of rest, i
could barely function. i always sensed an enormous outflow of energies from
myself, with just a trickle of inbound energies, sort-of like fish
struggling to swim upstream. any way, yesterday, i became aware of something
very interesting - the vortices have most definitely reversed flow. i'm now
distinctly aware of an enormous flow of energies into each chakra, some
spinning clockwise and some counterclockwise. the thing that i see as the
most interesting (and it seems to be the most important to me.?) is that at
the center of each vortex (pulling energy in) there exists a single point of
refined light, being emitted outward. does this mean that i am becoming a
better transceiver? once again, i am very leary of consciously trying to
change the flow of my energies, i figure they'll do what they need to do in
order to get the job done -- but i do wonder what would cause things to
change so dramatically.
all right, i must stop myself, time to go make some music! I 'gave up' a
very different Path (a career playing the flute) almost eighteen months ago
(at the time, choosing a university seemed like choosing a final
destination!), and I find myself drawn towards flute playing like never
before. I suppose we all need one (or a hundred!) outlets for creativity.
bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz - feel the charge!!!
elam
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