To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/11/24 08:54
Subject: [K-list] More Roller Coasters
From: Wendy Wade

Good Morning,

I mentioned earlier that my health has been swinging back and forth from
(like in a days time) from full of energy and feeling great to what seems
like the worst of the days when I was sick and back again to having energy
and feeling great. Along with that comes these whelming feelings of
preciousness and huge feelings of despair. One moment with the preciousness
of a little baby that visited yesterday and I wished that everyone else
would leave and that I could spend my time in the wondrousness (word?) of
that baby. The next moment realizing - I was that baby and the wondrousness
of me. One moment feeling so inadequate and the next adequate beyond words.
Seeing the God-dess in everyone and then the fear in me that keeps me
separate at times. Trying to find the "holes" - those places where I am
needing the comfort of others and those places that are filled with divinity
and light. Watching and taking in the impact of my words with others.
Watching and taking in the energy that moves between and among our physcial
beings and knowing the connection that feeling that beings us all together
in love.

I burst into tears and laughter. I wonder at how perfect a workshop for me
to attend than one on Surrender. Remembering what I have found in me and
then forgetting everything and sitting in despair. These feelings wash over
me in moments and then on to the next moment. It feels like I process them
fully and come out with great peace and then I am in the middle again
wondering how I got there.

I am using the grounding exercise regularly througout the day and have
started Fire Serpent Tantra with Mystress Angelique Serpent (I am still
reading the introduction material. I am filled with awe with the journey
and feeling really humble with all I am learning. The limitless energy and
knowledge there is to know.

Thanks for listening... I am off to "Surrender".

In peace and blessings of light gratitude,
wendy

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