To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/11/18 16:13
Subject: [K-list] help needed in NYC
From: a poster
On 2000/11/18 16:13, a poster posted thus to the K-list:
Hello All,
First off, I'd like to to thank you all for being here - it has been
such a relief to know I am not alone, this really is a spiritual
awakening and I am not crazy. I have been lurking here since the summer
and would finally like to introduce myself and ask for some help. (I am
going to post this on all the boards I formerly lurked on so please
excuse me if you have seen this already.)
My kundalini awakened in July. For about a month or two prior I thought
I was going into early menopause - had hot flashes and a whole lot of
other things happening over the years that, in retrospect, are all k
related. Anyway, I had been meditating sporadically over the past year
using a zen meditation and was getting big waves of energy washing
through me. I have also done yoga for years but had really slacked off
in the past year. So there I was at Crunch, a gym in downtown Manhattan
(enlightenment at the gym! how y2k) taking my first kundalini yoga
class in five years, doing prana breathing, cleaning out the crown
chakra. My eyes were closed the whole time and I could hear the
teacher. I felt a tremendous warmth in the pelvic region, then saw a
white light within. Throughout the whole process I'm having a profound
inner dialogue consisting of "What the f* is going on?" The light then
became a spiral at the base of my spine (I could see it) which coiled
tight and expanded three times then went spiralling up my spine to the
heart chakra. The teacher then went onto the next exercise as did I,
thinking that if I had stayed in postion the light would of continued
going up and shot out of my head illuminating the whole room. On the
way home from the gym I told a friend I thought I had a kundalini
awakening even though I had no clue what it was and can't recall ever
having heard the phrase before.
Since then I've had a lot of going on, most strongly in the two months
after my awakening, including:
- can't sleep until around dawn
- energy pouring into my head, especially in August, and had a major
bout of it just recently
- a feeling akin to carbonation bubbling up in my brain
- electricity running through me, particularly on the left side
- hearing white noise, especially at night
- heard bells after meditating (once)
- wild mood swings, bliss, tears, laughter for no reason
- poor concentration and focus
- gained weight
- as I'm falling asleep or spacing out feel like I've stopped breathing
on occassion
- while dozing or waking up: felt hands on my body (early on) , felt a
whoosh of wings flying past my face (once or twice), felt energy going
up my spine like mercury in a thermometer (once), seen energy on my
lower back like sunlight on water (once), heard a voice saying "Hi, hi,
hi" as if to wake me up (once)
- pre-k used to seeing amorphous shapes but have now seen little grey
shadows flitting around a friend's room, black bug-like dots winging
around part of my living room
- children, dogs and cats are much friendlier, jump up on me these
days, including a little girl who just crawled in my lap as I was
talking to her mother while waiting for a ferry (the mother was as
suprised as I)
- smell incense when I open certain books
- have been isolating myself in a big way
I'm an out of work internet executive. Got laid off last December and
decided I'd take off the spring and rebuild a house (traumatic
experience) for my mother and aunt and reassess my worklife after being
involved with four internet start-ups. (BTW, I'm one of the poor,
overworked dot commers with worthless stock options.) Since the k
awakening that is all I've been dealing with and accumulating a lot of
knowledge trying to understand what is happening to me. Have also been
smoking too much pot to get more than a few hours sleep and just not
feel for a few hours. Unfortunately (and in a nutshell) I have been
barely job hunting because at first I thought I'd couldn't handle it and
now I realize I could care less and want to devote my life to service.
This is all fine and dandy but boils down to the fact that I haven't
worked for nearly a year, have a really bad attitude (you should see me
at interviews) about going back to my formerly chosen field and want to
get out of this pot smoking isolation I have been cultivating. I have
gone through all my savings, have no money left and really, really need
to get back to work. Does anyone know any shrinks, support groups,
energy workers, yoga teachers or anyone I can talk to in New York, New
York? I would appreciate any leads.
Thank you so much.
Peace,
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