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To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/11/14 07:19
Subject: Re: [K-list] My daughter...
From: José

On 2000/11/14 07:19, José posted thus to the K-list:

Hello Wendy,

I will tell you a bit of my story - I guess it touched me because I grew up
as an only child - daughter - with a single mother, and I had serious
problems at the age of 9 as well. Different ones, but in a similar
situation. Now, at age 38, I can feel that bringing up a child alone is a
huge responsibility. And the worst of all: you all know this intuïtively and
feel it as a child. My mother had problems - she worked 40 hours as a
librarymanager and had major conflicts at her work. She had no partner to
share her emotions with. Even though she knew it was not good to share these
with me, I felt all of her pain anyway, so she did cry out her heart with
me. I felt responsable for her happiness - cause I was the only one around.
Now I know - I had no chance to be a child. I did well in school as far as
grades were concerned, but had no social life and was pushed out of the
group. I had to relive all of these things in therapy.
I met my father for the first time for a short while then (he left my mother
during pregnancy - finally did find him 3 years ago), and started to rebel
against my grandmother (I perfectly understand Christopher Wynters comments
on this, I am now in the middle of clearing those grandmotherpatterns). It
was a hard time at age 9.
The only thing I can advice you: please be happy yourself! Find people that
make you happy. And even if it doesn't sound nice: if you call her "my baby"
at age 9, even my stomach turns.....

blessings, José

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