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To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/09/28 14:07
Subject: Re: [K-list] a new manual
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent


On 2000/09/28 14:07, Mystress Angelique Serpent posted thus to the K-list:

At 06:48 AM 9/26/00, kalipadmaATnospamjuno.com wrote:
>Can I pick at this bone you've tossed me?

 If you like..:)

> I am handicapped, walking
>with a cane due to inoperatible hip arthritis. I'm still accommodating
>myself to living on Disability benefits at a very low poverty level.

   Yeowch! Handicapped people were not in my mind when I wrote that..

>I've also studied for more than 15 years (and am now teaching) the
>techniques of Gardnerian Witchcraft (or Wicca). I never paid a dime to
>learn these techniques. I don't charge a penny to teach them. The
>paradigm of our form of spirituality is that the teachings are a
>love-gift. (We actually take an oath upon Initiation, not to charge
>anything for teaching the Craft.) You can't "sell out" your spirtuality,
>if it's not on the market.

  I have a lot of Wiccan friends, and all of them live pretty close to
the poverty line.. I often wonder if there is some connection to the Wiccan
Vow and how they cannot seem to create abundance for themselves.. More
likely, I think, is that it is the effect of free will based magic. Hard to
explain.. if you are casting a spell for money, then you are demonstrating
that you do not trust Goddess to provide for you. What you focus on, will
grow, and if you are focusing on lack..
The external, conscious focus is on abundance but the larger underlying
motivation is a belief in scarcity, and that is what creates the results.
The magic is self-sabotaging.

>I know a little [false modesty, here] about Shakta Hinduism, meditation
>techniques, use of mantra, healing powers of gemstones. I teach classes
>in these subjects at conventions and bookstores.

  So, why is it OK to sell one aspect of your spirituality and not
another? Not judging, just wondering..

> The conventions pay for
>my transportation, a hotel room, sometimes meals, and I'm allowed to sell
>incenses, statues, and so on. The bookstores give me a cut of the take,
>but my prices are very low, and if someone can't afford them, I have a
>sliding scale.
Yes, I'll offer the course for barter if someone is really in need
and cannot afford it.. What barter, I dunno.. It's awkward because 50% of
the tuition goes to my business partner who did the technical stuff for the
realplayer videos, and he likes to get paid. His motive is profit, my
motive is following Goddess' Will.

But really, I think that if Goddess agrees that it is for them, then
pennies from Heaven will drop the tuition in their lap. If it is meant to
be, then Goddess will provide. If they are really turning their lives over
to Divine Will and Goddess tells them to spend the grocery money, whether
it is on my course or on some other avenue of self realization... then they
will make that leap of faith and it will be rewarded.
 I know my course is not for everyone.. limitless manifestation likes
there to be many different paths.. but for those who are truly called to
it, Goddess will provide.

 I know that makes no sense from a scarcity consciousness point of
view.. but the choice to take the course is a choice to turn your life over
to Divine Will.. the process of K. itself is that... and it is a process of
making leaps of faith over piles of fear. Making following Divine Will more
important than the navigation of fear.

 I'm doing that leap again next week. druid and I are feeling strongly
pulled to visit the Ghost town Goddess has chosen as the location for the
Mystery School, and the trip will cost about $1500.. we cannot afford to do
it now, and we certainly cannot afford the $5 million price tag for the
real estate.. but the pull to go see the place now is strong enough that we
are making the leap of faith to put the trip on the credit card and
trusting Goddess to pay the bill when it comes. She Will. It is Her idea so
She will provide for it.

>It is very true that my Root chakra may not be in the best of shape.
>I've been negotiating a better relation with Ganesha (Lord of that
>chakra) via bhakti (devotion) and puja (offering ceremonies). While
>$88.88 (all that Saturn energy! Howcum?)

   Because I am saggitarian? Because I could not think how to put a
price on what is priceless, but had to because Goddess gave me a
profit-motivated partner.. Goddess inspired me to make a price out of
sideways infinity symbols.. :)

> is not a fortune, I doubt I'll
>be studying with Angelique's course anytime soon. I need the money for
>vegetables, and new shoes, more right now.

 Good that you are clear in your priorities. :)

>Angelique -- I've known other poor but intelligent folks with First
>Chakra blocks who resorted to some form of the sex industry to put food
>on the table and books on the shelves.

  Sure, I was one..:)

> Do you recommend it? Most of
>those I know burned out rather quickly. I'm turning my hand to writing
>porno. Any hints? (Off-list, of course!)

 Not really. There are so many amatuers, and so much porn flowing
around already that the market is kind of glutted.
 When I read this post the other day (didn't have time to respond,
then) behind me on the TV was Barbara Sher. She has been very inspirational
to me. Many years ago, she wrote a book called "Wishcraft". It is based on
the idea that every body comes into the world with some unique talent or
interest that is their Bliss.. and if they find out what that is then
Spirit will provide the outlet. "Do what you love, the money will follow".
It includes some very interesting "self realization" excercises to look at
yourself with detachment and see who you really are and what you love best.
See talents that might not have been recognised by the ego.

  Barbara Sher has a website now: www.barbarasher.com
  In the book, and on the video I was watching she tells a number of
great stories of people following their bliss. She told one story of an
unfulfilled proofreader who came in for employment counselling. They spent
an hour together and Barbara could not find a single thing the woman liked
to do, and was about to give a refund when the woman picked up a book she
was reading on her way out.. Barbara asked what the book was and the
woman's eyes filled with light as she rhapsodized about Coco the Gorilla..
When asked why she had not mentioned it as an interest before, she said
"EVERYONE wants to work with Gorillas, and you need to have all these
degrees, and.. " yadda yadda all her fears and limiting beliefs poured out.
Barbara told her, "That doesn't matter.. you HAVE to do this because it is
the only thing you are passionate about.. you life is crap anyway, so what
do you have to lose?"

 Well, the woman didn't quit her day job, but she started attending
various groups that had a special interest in gorillas, like people wanting
to save gorilla habitat, etc.. and from that she got an invitation to see 2
zoo-born baby gorillas that were going to be raised away from the zoo as an
experiment. She showed up and the gorillas took one look at her, and jumped
on her with hugs. When the people who invited her saw how the gorillas
loved her they said "heh heh I think we've found our sucker.." and hired
her to take care of them.
After a year she was depressed because the job was over and the
gorillas were going back to the zoo... she knew the gorillas so she had to
go with them to help them feel at home in their new habitat. When she was
at the zoo saying goodbye to them, the head of the Gorilla dept saw her
with them and said, "Who is that woman? She is great with gorillas! Hire her!"
   She ended up with a career, working with gorillas at several major Zoos,
travelling to see them in the wild, etc. Generally becoming famous and
successful because of her exceptional talent and passion for gorillas. Not
because of university degrees or anything but that her great love of
gorillas was so apparent that her talent sold itself.
That's what is real.. how life really works. Follow your bliss, and
synchronicity provides the rest. The energy of true passion makes ripples.

It is backwards to how most people think about money. Most folks look
at the employment market and then think of how to adapt themselves to fit
in with that market.. which is different than looking at yourself, your
talents and bliss and finding/creating a market for it. The difference is
thinking with ego instead of letting Spirit guide.

  For me, it was the same. So long as I was thinking with my ego and
adapting to the market, things didn't work for me. I went thru a lot of
shitty commission sales jobs, (like selling encyclopaedias) and floundered
as a free lance commercial artist, having to go on and off welfare too many
times because I did not have the confidence to charge what my work was worth.
It was when I surrendered my ego-ideas about how to earn a living that
the inner voice directed me to become a Pro-Dom... and pushed me past my
resistance to show me how it was workable, even perfect for me in so many
ways. It took about 6 months for the Inner Voice to persuade me that the
perfect job for an unemployed actress/improv artist with a Dom-sadist
streak was doing one-on-one roleplay as a Domina. Six months for Goddess
to shut down all other avenues and options (including welfare getting cut
off) till I had no choice but to listen. Once I made up my mind to follow
the inner guidance, a friend gave me a $3000. loan for startup expenses and
I repaid it within 6 months, with interest.
 Being a Pro-Dom was sooooo good for me! It gave me an education about
human nature that money cannot buy, and $175/hr meant I could work a few
hours a week and have plenty of leisure time for my spiritual studies...
which truly took off!
   Now, the inner voice has directed me to retire from that work, and I
have been unemployed for the better part of a year.. but, when I need
something the money comes. My beloved slave-husband has gotten more odd
raises and bonuses and refunds from his work in the last two years than in
the whole 12 years he worked for the company before that, and I get odd
donations from people, for no reason or as a reward for healing/counselling
work I've done with them.
I was provided for while I spent the last year working on this Tantra
course, and I know that I will be provided for, to create the multi-million
dollar Kundalini Mystery School-Retreat center that is in my future. How or
when the money will come, I dunno. That part of it is not up to me. Goddess
gave me a vision of this place when I was 9 years old.. it is Her will that
it be done, and She will provide the $millions for it. I work on doing what
I can do.. writing the development proposal and planning the space.
Putting the vision onto paper in a way that it can be shared and inspire
the other people who will be a part of it manifesting.

 So you see, abundance is about a reversal of thinking.. external to
internal. From a state of logically analysing how to bend yourself to what
the market demands, which uses fear-based ego thinking that only sees
limits, to a faith and surrender based state of asking Goddess what it is
that She wants you to do in the world. If your employment strategies are
aligned with Goddess' Will for you, then She will handle the details,
synchronicity will move mountains to provide for you.. and even if you
don't make much money at it, you will be so darn happy and fulfilled that
you won't care... so you will not be focusing so much energy on lack and
scarcity. You will always make at least enough to provide for the basic
necessities which are all you need to progress from the first level of
Maslow's hierarchy, to the second.
 If you are doing something that you are so passionate about that you
would gladly do it for free, then you have found your Bliss and the money
will come.

Just as I have spent the last 4 years passionately addicted to running
these lists, for free.. offering my inner guidance to others.. then was
directed to put my experience into a course format. I certainly haven't
made any money off it, if I look for a return on my investment of a whole
year of my life it took to create it plus 4 years running the lists, then
from a financial standpoint I'm deep in the hole.... but Goddess directed
me to create it and She chose the price tag, and she paid my living
expenses while I worked.. so, I trust that She will provide the rest, and
provide for the students too. It will come. In the meantime I enjoy
priceless rewards that cannot be measured in $$$. What I put out came back
multiplied in terms of my own spiritual growth and confidence=faith.

Perhaps not from the course itself, but from my having put my teachings
into form so that I can move out of the teacher role into being the kind of
Administrator that the next project will require.
 So, stop looking outside of yourself for what you are meant to do..
like, asking me if you would make money writing porn. How should I know? If
writing porn is your bliss then you would probably be very good at it and
talent sells, but if you are only doing it as a means to an end then that
will come through in your writing and it won't be juicy.
Look inward to following Divine Will, and put Goddess first. Ask your
inner voice, what is It's will for you? What is the most important thing
you have to do this lifetime, what is the greatest gift you have to offer
to your fellow human beings? Goddess is bound to come up with some thing
brilliant that you will find fulfillment in, with abundance as a side
effect. Start small, with what you can do, and watch your options open up
as the ripples of your love expand outwards. Find something that you love
enough that you would gladly do it for free, and start doing it.. and
someone will come along to offer you a way to get paid for it.
  Hope that helps.. Blessings!


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