To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/09/27 10:34
Subject: [K-list] Re: Whole Body (Global) Conductivity
From: Bob Vincent
On 2000/09/27 10:34, Bob Vincent posted thus to the K-list:
Hi Horia,
Thank you very much for the beautiful feedback. Clearly you know what
I mean by "conductivity." Btw, the word is my own label to describe
my experience. You can describe an awful lot with that word.
Put "whole body," "whole world" or "whole universe" in front of it
and you have covered practically the entire sanscrit language. LOL
I received a private inquiry which has jogged my memory on some of
the particulars of my awakening process, and with permission from the
author I am copying some of it here and expanding the description in
my earler note:
>>>I did the 90+ day series of meditations of the "Secret of the
Golden Flower", which led further to an intense 12 month period of
cleansing, experiencing various series of pranayama, initiations, etc.
Response: This sounds similar to the K/T (kundalini/tantra) yoga work
I did after 15 years of TM. To clarify, the K/T work was not part of
my TM training, rather a new direction I took on my own in addition
to my TM practices because I hungered for faster progress. TM gives
very good, safe and steady progress, but my spiritual aggressiveness
needed more. It was very much a matter of honoring my inner drive for
growth. Meanwhile, my TM practice gave me an excellent foundaton of
inner silence, stability and yogic intuition from which to pursue the
more aggressive course. The entire process was directed from within
by an already awakening K in my opinion. For those who are
interested, the overall journey is chronicled in the spiritual
history on my web profile at:
http://hometown.aol.com/bobvincent
>>>In short, my path seems to be alchemy & I haven't found any other
so far with whom I can relate...however, what you describe above, I
certainly can relate to...the feeling of every cell in my body being
in a state of conductivity...the sensual, sexual blissful feeling
throughout the body all day long....I also feel as if I have become
androginous, with left side male & right side female...I have also
felt these centers relocate to both sides of the head, directly
behind the ears...do you also feel this?
Response: Yes, "alchemy" is a great word to describe it, like
changing lead into gold. :-) . The physiological changes I have
observed in myself have been remarkable, from the most physical
bodily functions to the most subtle energy flows. Clearly, sexual
energy is raised into a complex process of transformation throughout
the body. Beyond the experience of the local blockages I have
mentioned, the rise of "conductivity" throughout the body has seemed
to be the predominant phenomenon giving rise to the experience of
expansion and awakening. Yes, sexual/ecstatic feelings throughout the
body all day long. But somehow beyond sexual, yes? Lighter, purer,
more uplifting, expansive, not ending in orgasmic release. It just
keeps going until the body overheats in a cycle of whole body
(global) overload. Then when this repairs, the cycle starts over
again going higher and wider still. These cycles of boom and bust
were undoing me in the early 90s, so I learned to moderate the
process into a "slow burn." Much more steady and sustainable, pretty
much 24 hours a day. So instead of huge ecstatic periods followed by
big burnups, I have ended up in more or less gentle full time
ecstasy, which I found is a better way (for me) to progess with the
ever continuing expansion of the conductivity of K.
And yes, a sense of androgyny comes with this. The union of poles
driving this process inside is at the cellular level and gives rise
to a sense of being both masuline and feminine. I used to think
androgyny mean "sexless," due to its connection with castration, so I
have avoided the word for that reason. An active K is anything but
sexless. It is a neverending orgy in the body going to more and more
refined and global levels. But androgyny means "of both sexes," yes?
That is a correct description for what happens in a progressing K
experience.
My feeling of male and female have not been localized in particular
parts of my body as you describe. My male and female components seem
to be in union everywhere. This does not mean either of our
experiences are right or wrong. I think it can unfold in many ways.
It has something to do with what our belief system is, our imagery
tendencies, how we might tend to view the process, which can affect
the way the energy unfolds in our body. You can be sure it is going
in the right direction. All roads lead home!
>>>Although I sometime feel a normal or partial erection, most of the
time I feel or vizualize the phallus straight up the body to the
cranium with the inner feeling of seminal fluid release, at other
times, the top of the cranium seems to be a yoni, receiving the
phallus...can you relate...I have never felt anything on the tip of
the nose, but will try this....
Response: This reminded me of the part I forgot from the 1980s. Yes,
I had that sensation of the center of me becoming a phallus and the
flow of seed going up to the crown and running back down through the
body. It was a literal biological experience which surprised me at
first. But perhaps even more interesting was the gradual evolution of
this phenomenon in me. I remember now when I first started working
with advanced pranayama kumbaka (breath retention) and actively
managing the sexual energy through siddhasana (a yogic way of sitting
where the heel is pressed at the perineum, both stimulating energy
upward while blocking sexual energy from going out) and other means,
that the first symptom I noticed was a very pleasant "silver thread"
appearing between my root and crown. It was the thinnest thread you
could imagine, but very evident as whitish silver and very sexually
pleasant, and this was the beginning of the opening of my central
spinal nerve channel. I remember walking around with this silver
thread for weeks in a state of ecstatic infatuation. I had not
reached the phallus in me stage at this point, but that was the
beginning. It was at this time that I first noticed some conductivity
between my crown and root. For example, I could imagine the thousand
petaled lotus on top of my head and feel it in my pelvic region, and
the energy rising from that act of attention. As time went on, the
silver thread got thicker and the color began to change to have more
reddish and yellowish tones in it. I then called it a "rope." The
process of expansion continued over a year or so and the rope became
a "column." By this time the energy flows were becoming more
overwhelming and whole body erotic, with very bright and dark colors
of red, yellow and orange. By this time I had attached images of
phallus and yoni, etc, to the thing going on inside me. But whatever
images I attached to it at this point, there was no stopping what had
been awakened. The column of energy at times roared and consumed me,
and I began to develop defensive strategies to get through the
surges, like maintaining a low profile self employment career and
managing every aspect of my lifestyle to favor the increasing
presence of K in my life.
Through all of this the conductivity in my body kept rising, kept
expanding. Through a wide varity of maneuvers of body and attention I
learned to stimulate K tremendously, due to the greatly expanded
conductivity between every part of my body. I could pull my eyes
together cross eyed, manipulating parts of the inside of the brain
(the tip of the nose is just a beginning focal point to begin
practice centering the eyes, not a focal point of experience),
generating huge surges of energy from my pelvic region. Even simple
things like putting thumbs and index fingers together in "chin mudra"
caused the energy to swirl up from the root in hurricane-like fashion.
Over the years the column of energy gradually stabilized into a much
more blissful and friendly experience, expanding to encompass my
whole body. The colors have become much more friendly too- light
yellows, pinks and silver/white again like in the original silver
thread, only now everywhere. By now it has also gone outside my body
so it has become an "egg" of conductivity which is in me and around
me. It affects how I perceive everything around me. There is a
blissful translucent quality to everything, even in the most
unpleasant situations you could imagine. I suppose that eventually
the experience will encompass more of my surroundings. Who knows
where this will end? One thing is for sure. It is a wonderful
adventure of discovery.
So the progress in me over 15 years has been from thread to rope to
column to egg. Maybe cosmic egg is in the offing eventually? Pretty
interesting, huh?
>>>I have a very intense feeling that we all have a mission in this
lifetime...do you feel this also?...I am intent on knowing what my
mission is in this lifetime, in this physical plane...
Response: I used to be very concerned about this, especially during
my early awakening period. I felt I should write a book or something.
Over time I let go of it, and just focused on the process in myself.
I think it is much more important to focus on doing the things to
unfold than to get caught up in the impulse we all have to save the
world. There is also a tendency we all have to get caught up in
signposts, experiences, and powers that naturally arise along the
way. I try and avoid getting too far detoured from the core of my
spiritual (kundalini) journey by these things, using the yogic tools
I have been blessed with on a daily basis, and keeping my focus as
far out on the spiritual horizon as possible. I realize others will
not agree with this view, but that is my path. I respect what others
view as their path also. I know now better than ever that my mission
is to grow, and everything else is secondary. That is just me. It is
somewhat different from the goals of the TM tradition I came out of,
where the concentration is on a wide range of things related to
bringing up an enlightened world society. I'm all for that, but I
have plenty of work to do on my own, so that's what I do. If K wants
me to do more than that, I'm sure I'll hear about it. She is in
charge. Whatever your mission is, if you keep promoting her presence
in your life, she will let you know for sure... :-)
Hope all that helps.
Peace,
Bob
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