To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/09/06 14:46
Subject: Re: [K-list] Samadhi
From: Horia Cristescu
On 2000/09/06 14:46, Horia Cristescu posted thus to the K-list:
/9146/6/_/680797/_/968275717/
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Thank you Bob, Wim, Harsha and everybody else for your prompt and beautiful
answers.
I did read a lot of yoga literature and practice meditation in the last
eight years, but the recent developments are possible because of the
shaktipat of my guru, first received four years ago. Then, I experienced the
opening of Brahmarandra - top of the spine nadi and as a mirror event, the
awakening of Kundalini. In time it became more and more subtle and bliss
became a part of me. This made me feel that body is sacred and I enjoy in a
secret way every move, the simple act of walking, dressing up or doing any
physical activities while being in this state of bliss. However I was not in
a nondual state, the normal dual mind continued to operate as well,
permanently.
The 'sound' made me do it.
Recently I made a breakthrough because of concentration of the permanent
subtle sound. We discussed a lot about this sound in the list. It seems that
almost everybody hears it in complete silence. By focusing on this sound I
got the feeling that there was no meditation, there was no object of
meditation or witness, there was only a flash of blissful pure energy, not
localized in space but everywhere. This state lasted for a few seconds, but
I entered again and again in it.
There are some effects in the 'after meditation' period. I feel very limited
even by the mere appearance of a thought or by choosing to make a simple
physical move. It is not pleasant to loose this state. On the other hand,
there was something that made me stop meditation after some time. It was a
sudden wish to stop, it came from the heart chackra, I felt this distinctly.
This suggests that I need some serious getting used to this new way of
living, because this wish to stop is a impregnation of the mind that must be
erased through meditation.
There is a strong sensation that this is different from whatever I did
before. Now it is serious, there is no way of avoiding what must be done.
This scares me in some degree because it is like dying. I feel I am
dissolved and this is like saying good bye to the world I knew until
now...Well, my life is ahead, I have lots of time to get over this initial
moment :))
P.S. Sometimes I start a conversation or I put a question not because I want
to obtain information but because I love the extraordinary reaction I get
from you. I sort of 'stimulate' a conversation :) Love you.
Horia
>I feel the normal state of consciousnes to be a somehow "compressed" and
>much more limited state of being and myself, in which the silence and
>absolute balance of the larger Self somehow manages to get lost in the
>clutter of mental movies, desires and physical action. Something remains
>though, and I hope maybe I'll also one day be able to switch smoothly from
>one mode to the other.
Same here, Miguel Mouse.
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