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To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/09/03 18:55
Subject: [K-list] Part of a private post
From: Wim Borsboom


On 2000/09/03 18:55, Wim Borsboom posted thus to the K-list:

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Dear So and So,

You wrote:
> Nothing gives me more pleasure than sharing the most deep experiences with
> someone that can understand and relate to them. When I don't do that I
feel
> somewhat alone; by telling I am free to go further.

When I went through the 960 (+ 40 +12) days of K 's reintegration process I
needed a human monitor (used to be called "confessor" by mystics of yore),
someone who was there to want to understand or at least to just hear me.
Strangely though, for me it had to be someone from the professional world.
My wife and son, Emmy and Emanuel, of course were totally aware of what was
happening to me, everyday another transformative and purgative episode, but
it was sometimes too much for them. How Emmy was able to hang in though! Am
still so grateful to her. (She will be off to India for half a year from Sep
15 on, Auroville.) Eventually I found a very good psychologist. I asked him
to just listen to me, to let me recount to him my wherewithals,
happenstances and letting-goes and getting-bys. He is now one of my best
friends.

> There was a time when my K first aroused when I wrote lots of poetry
> (although I never published it and I only showed it to a few people).

I was 18 when this happened to me, the first bout of K, that was in 1962, in
those days there was only one person who understood me a little bit, her
name was Viola, an older lady whom I met while camping in Holland. My mother
(I have 5 brothers and 1sister), even though she then did not grasp what was
happening to me, accepted me as I and IT went along, she saw IT as
mysticism. Now (she is 82) since my father passed along, she understands...,
it is reality... THIS IS IT.

> so much I felt then that I desperately needed to tell someone, no matter
> what. I told others many times about many of my spiritual experiences.
> know very well that by telling someone what you feel you loose some
> spiritual energy to that person, if the listener does not deserve to be
> told.

I somehow was never afraid of that. I was as strong as a tree, got that from
my mother.

> I was interested if there was a text or a description about this type of
> concentration on heart beats because I want to know in detail how did the
> others do it. I know from yoga and Shivaism of Kashmir about a related
> technique. I practice it sometimes.

You found and will find your own sources and resources... within yourself
(as they always say... hahaha). Though some outside hints will keep you
tracking straightly. That is how it went with me.
At one point you wrote that I am well read, this is true. But I always read
for concurrence, corroboration. Am not sure how other ppl. read. I don't
understand it, really, when people say that they learn from source
materials...
I can only re-cognize, understand and concur... By the same token I can only
re-cognize, understand and concur with you, support... I am not one to
suggest... Can only describe my experiences.

> It involves being conscious when breathing. When the inspiration stops,
> before expiration, there is a short moment of stop. In this very instant
one
> has to focus his attention in his heart. After expiration, in the short
> period before inspiration, one has to focus his attention into the crown
> chakra or above his head in Dvadashanta (twelve fingers width above the
top
> of the head). This meditation leads to a state of void. It is the void of
> the heart and the void of sahasrara that are revealed through the
> oscillations of prana (the breath). This state of void is also called
turya,
> the fourth state of consciousness besides awake, sleep with dreams and
deep
> sleep without dreams.

Ah the void...
Did you get to read "Form is Emptiness , Emptiness is Form"
This is the Heart Sutra, or the "Heart of Perfect Wisdom" Sutra by the
bodhisattva Avalokiteshvara.
This short sutra, rather than taking confusion out of simple being has
confused many a seeker... it was supposed to be the sutra to end all sutras.

> You see what I am thinking here ? The breath - a cyclic process, can be
the
> doorway to the state of void. I figured "what if I would use the heart
> cyclic movements in the same way ?". So I did it.

Right on , you see?!!!

> That's why I am guessing that as the breath method is described in ancient
texts, so
> should be the second.

There are the various Bandhas: Mula, Uddiyana, Jalandhara. There are the 2
important Mudras: Sambhavi and Kechari.
One will find them described in Hatha Yoga Pradipika. (Find a good
translation on the net, used books on Barnes and Nobles)
"The Yoga of Light: Hatha Yoga Pradipika"
Rieker, Hans-Ulrich (translated by Elsy Becherer) is probably the best.
Although it left some stuff out from the original version. Make sure that
when you read translations that you figure out what is commentary by
previous editors and what is original text. This is very confusing with old
scriptures.
Another good source is "Chakras: Energy Centers of Transformation" by Harish
Johari. This book is really a current compilation of good yoga and chakra
material. Some good extracts from Hindu scriptures as well at the end of
this book. BTW, hatha yoga in this context does not mean the same as the
traditional Hatha Yoga with the emphasis on asanas.

They (the Banddhas and Mudras) actually happened to me spontaneously... kind
of... I like to play around with spasm-like reactions in the body. Some of
my spasms, when unhampered and followed through on, turned into the banddhas
and mudras. I used the above books to confirm some details. One cannot go
wrong really, trust you bodily instrument... our most wonderful and best
ally... Once our self love, mutual love and universal love is honestly
intended to be unconditional... (that is actually not too hard... just do
not expect anything from yourself and the world around you) we cannot go
wrong.

> You mentioned the state of samadhi.
> Do thoughts completely disappear from
> your mind when you are in samadhi ?

The BEING, often called "the observer" never disappears...

Pure, unadulterated thought, "manas" is the stuff of being.

The observer/being is really "YOU CUM I", "you&me",
Undifferentiated, unconditioned divine SELF,
Freely immersed in our separate-and-shared play of humanhood.

Most often from our moment of birth...
Often a conditioned and conditional moment of shock...
The illusive not-being-allowed-to-be-that-one-is...
The penultimate "if-then" violation;
Most often from our moment of birth...
A not-so-pure-mind may have developed,
A layering of self-consciousness,
Enveloping so to say, the "self" or "soul" or "observer" or "whatever".

The SELF now lives hidden,
Shying away from the conditions of fear,
The conditional mind games of illusion.

Commonly pure thought, "manas" gets impregnated-
Con-fused and encapsulated by conditional impurities:
Fear, threats, curses, spells and the like.

Pure thought:
The unconditional and unconditioned contents of mind.

From our unconditional state of being...
(Let me call it super-samadhi)
Initially timelessly and spacelessly...
Various subsequent supra-samadhi states arise,
Plays of in- and un-folding dimensionalities of shared reality,
The creation of realities in time and space from pure energy,
Realities... compositions of "things" (Latin "res")
Realities... interference patterns of denser and subtler frequencies,
From pure unconditional thought, to thought-forms to forms.

Primal thought is without content...
No temporal and spatial extensions.
Subsequently the play of thought...
Processes, creations, creativity

> You mentioned the state of samadhi.
> Do thoughts completely disappear from
> your mind when you are in samadhi ?

Sometimes yes,
Sometimes no.

> I experience bliss but I am always thinking even when I am in a state of
> bliss. Of course in that state the thoughts are very elevated.

There you are!!!

> The only time when I stop thinking is when I do trataka -
> moving the interior sight in synchronicity with the respiration
> and when I meditate on Bhagalamukhi -
> the cosmic power of stopping.
> But even then I have some rare thoughts going to
> and fro in my mind.

There you are!!!

Love,
Wim.


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