To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/06/13 01:49
Subject: Re: [K-list] Stifled, zen zen and zing zing
From: v
On 2000/06/13 01:49, v posted thus to the K-list:
Paul Perner wrote:
>
> Dear List,
>
> Love. That's a big one.
> El, Isadora and many other here share my feelings regarding, need, neediness and
> the business of the heart.
>
> I hope we never "go beyond" the need for love. Imagine all the music and poetry
> that would disappear. Again, it would be that strange, new age sterility I have
> such a peeve about. It makes me want to spin some Jefferson Airplane: "Don't you
> want somebody to love?... Don't you need somebody to love?...You better find
> somebody to love..."
yes, life & times were much simpler then.
>
> It's time for me to make some adjustments.
> My girlfriend moved out this morning. Nothing ugly. It just didn't work out.
> Last night we cried in each other's arms. I held out for a long time. I tried to
> avoid the pain with every spiritual, philosophic, mundane and emotional loophole,
> rationalization and escape route that my mind could conceive of. But some things
> hurt and there's no way around it. The tears came and tonight they could come
> again. It's like getting a tooth pulled. Nobody ever said it was easy.
wow. I know what you're going through, (or some reasonable facsimile).
we can *know* inside, we can meditate & ground & shine the light &
positive affirmations, but the only real cure or these delicate
situations is TIME, so sublime.
>
> I have another adjustment to make: I was recently diagnosed with prostate cancer
> and because of the stage it's in, the doctors say that aggressive surgery is my
> only option. I'm not tripping on it too much, but there are a number of issues
> looming on the horizon. One of them is the pain thing (impotency another). I've
> saved some of the posts on this issue, but I may be mailing some of you privately
> regarding this (in about two weeks). We'll see. Maybe it won't be so bad. I've
> never been put to sleep or cut open. It's all new to me.
One of my closest friends, our Borough Mayor (only incidently) Jack
Shay, just had a heart attack & was medi-vacced down to Seattle for open
heart surgery.
They only gave him an angioplasty (sp?), cut him open & put like a
balloon in his artery to clear the blockage. Successfully.
And he is back up here, but lying very low - for such a gregarious
guy & consummate thesbian & entertainer.
I sense that you are also a survivor, & will be sending you prayers &
healing light, as a matter of course.
>
> I'm not asking anyone to feel sorry for me. I'm just hoping that nobody on this
> list takes love for granted. I hope that none of us get so secure and insulated
> in our peaceful, mystical cocoons that we miss that special glance from a
> stranger on the street. Whether it be one of passing desire, confident admiration
> or one out of helpless need, we could be missing an invitation to the greatest
> adventure. Love, so wonderfully unpredictable. But whether it's realized or
> disappointed, is there anyone on this list who can say it's not worth the gamble?
While it has happened to me, I really am incredulous of "love at
first sight". The outer trappings of romance seem to me more akin to
*lust*, while true love is patient & kind & unconditional.
Knowing my recent admissions, of course my opinion is mutably in
transit, & so this idea of "true love" is still a leap of faith for me.
>
> Life really is short. One that note, here's one of my favorite quotes:
>
> "Get it while you can."
>
> Janis Joplin
Aaahh... life was so much simpler then. It's so easy lately to
consider *love* as a weakness of all the major bodily organs, which is
easily rectified & controlled by rational thought & linear analysis.
It's SO scary! Succumbing to *love* seems to me even more difficult
than succumbing to death. AT least death is simple & inevitable...
Maybe if you let us know where you are having your operation it might
help sending light & healing your way?
valerie
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