To: K-list 
Recieved: 2000/05/28  11:34  
Subject: Re: [K-list] Surrender & Support 
From: Kathy
  
On 2000/05/28  11:34, Kathy posted thus to the K-list: 
Greetings all!  Thanks Susan for this way/idea of surrendering to pain.
 
From: <divine_goddessATnospamhotmail.com  Sent: Sunday, May 28, 2000 10:55 AM 
"So I decided to dive into the pain, embrace it, and there's nothing like 
extreme pain to clear out a nice quiet place in your brain... a piece of 
silence in the middle of all that agony. Nirvana even...cos 
you finally know you are more than your body. The pain clears away 
everything until there's nothing but pure Consciousness. It really is 
standing in the center of a hurricane. 
 Diving into pain is like body surfing. Once you catch the wave you can stay 
on top of it and be in the 'zone'. Step outside the zone and your face gets 
scraped along the bottom of the shore."
 
I have been dealing with a lot of pain and running away, numbing ect. 
Praying to surrender, getting a feeling of the peace and falling apart, fear 
of the unknown, running somemore, praying, peace, running....you get the 
picture?  Until I hit bottom so bad...."I" couldn't run the show, my tools 
weren't working. I had to ask for help.  I had a very helpful connection 
with the Mystress last night, which I will write more about later.....(Thank 
You & Goddess Very Much! 8~)
 
I've appreciated all the ideas and support that many of you provide.  I have 
received many gems for support as I undergo this whole process of SURRENDER 
and peeling away the "stuff" that has clouded my reality and kept me 
separate & alone.  One thing that really helped me yesterday was listening 
to the music of Sarah McLachlan.  I have most of her CD's and always loved 
them.  Though this time I listened with different ears based upon what 
someone said of her being K awakened...ect.  This time I listened and 
sometimes sang, at the top of my lungs the songs to myselves & the Divine, 
before it was more of a feeling of a relationship with another. (Today I am 
having a hard time putting my thoughts/feelings into words.)
 
I would appreciate any other artists that have helped you.  Music is 
powerful for me.  I remember someone also suggested Kate Bush.  Anyway I 
just needed to "decloak" & speak my truth to you all....THANK YOU!  I am so 
happy to be a part of this community and appreciate the pearls of wisdom you 
pass on and the loving encouragement towards....."Sweet Surrender".
 
Blessings to you!  Kathy
 
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