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To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/05/21 12:24
Subject: Re: [K-list] surrender
From: Ckress

On 2000/05/21 12:24, Ckress posted thus to the K-list:

In a message dated 05/21/2000 2:36:54 AM Pacific Daylight Time,
meeradjiATnospamhome.com writes:

<< what i mean, it's a strong neptunian energy that helps us to dissolve
 into something bigger than ego, that increases the longing up to the
 point where the ego has no chance to stay "alive". Neptunian energy is
 NOT personal and therefore CAN be stored and used by everybody who needs
 it. So...... what do others think about that?
 and how about giving it a shot and see whether it works? >>

Interesting concept. However, using the astrological analogy, everyone has
Neptune in their chart and will at some time undergo transits to and from
Neptune, so why is there a need to create some kind of psychic holding tank
of "surrender" to dissolve egos? I've been thinking lately about the whole
idea of surrender (another way of putting it could be "trusting"
life/K/God/Goddess). If one believes that God/Goddess has unerring
intelligence and operates impeccably through all things, why advise others to
surrender? Isn't that a bit like saying, "I have faith that God/Goddess is
working in perfection through me, but the rest of the world seems to have
escaped God/Goddess' jurisdiction"? Sort of like the pro-lifers who claim to
believe in God's Will yet don't trust that God has enough power to guide a
soul into an incarnation and keep it there if it is divinely ordained.

Yet sharing our ideas on surrender -- or love, or awakening -- can serve as
catalysts to help us see things in a new way. I think we also inevitably
push each other's buttons, not so much intentionally, but because it provokes
us to stretch and become more conscious and complete. Awareness grows
through both surrender and struggle, yin and yang, passive and active
experience. This may be what Kaura meant by her realization that "I need to
embrace my situation and pain and discomfort and anger..."

Surrender isn't a one-time done deal, it's an ongoing process of letting go,
then integrating, then letting go, then integrating, etc. The ego doesn't
drop dead instantly, but the more we allow ourselves to open up, the more
flexible and spacious our ego-sense of ourselves becomes. Even ego-loss
mystical experiences aren't permanent. We "come down" again eventually, and
need to revise our self-identity to accomodate what we experienced.

I noticed that the initial tally of Hillary's astrology poll didn't register
any Scorpios, yet I know there are other Scorps besides me on list who have
risen K. I don't know what reasons the others might have for not responding
to the poll. I didn't because, while K is raucously active in me all the
time, I consider HER awake, not me. I've had enlightening experiences, but I
don't consider myself enlightened. I'm a continous adventure in
self-discovery and multidimensional participation in the cosmos -- and even
that is a limited definition. At any given moment, I might be a fount of
illumination or bashing my head against the wall of my own ignorance... and
much of the time, I can't tell which is which. Last night, for instance, my
husband and I were trying to work through an impasse and I was loudly
lamenting my abject stupidity and inability to understand anything the Spirit
was telling us. Moments later, I was in a state of lucidity and saw exactly
what was happening. At the moment I had this insight and spoke from that
awareness, all the tension broke. There was an almost palpable energy shift,
and from then on, we spent the evening having an interesting discussion about
something else. It wasn't until this morning that I realized that lucid
moment had shifted everything. But when it occurred, it came so suddenly and
spontaneously that I barely registered what had happened. Our breakthrough
didn't come through surrender, it came after a struggle and a profound sense
of my own inability to understand what was going on. Fully believing that I
couldn't make sense of it, suddenly I could. That's happened to me many
times before. I'll be going full throttle in one direction when presto,
something bursts through from the opposite direction.

So what am I trying to say here? Things are never quite what they seem? All
roads lead to Rome? No matter how far you dig, there's always something more
underneath what you find? Or: "Those who know, don't speak and those who
speak, don't know." By the way, who first spoke that gem of wisdom? (And
what did they know?) Sort of like "all statements are lies, including this

El 1/3011/5/_/680797/_/958937084/


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