To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/05/15 13:03
Subject: [K-list] Greetings from a new member
From: Brentmreed
On 2000/05/15 13:03, Brentmreed posted thus to the K-list:
Hello dearest friends:
I was given a bit more hope, and experienced some excitement after I
learned that your group existed. My kundalini experience probably
began when I was about 18 or 19. I am 39 now. Since then, I have
had numerous encounters. I need the best of guidance from my friends
in this group, in hopes of learning how to properly open and allow my
own development. Other than being familiar with Gopi Krishna's
writings, I have been isolated and not known what to do.
When I was between the ages of thirty-two and thirty-three, probably
as a result of almost daily meditation, I began to encounter many
types of unusual events, such as seeing bluish white spinning discs
and pencil shaped vertical effulgent lights at my brow, that would
seem to radiate into the room a soft beautiful glow, a star filled
vision field with eyes closed or open, frequent calling of my name,
pages filled with information appearing before my eyes while they
were closed, heightened perception of synchronicities, and so on. My
experiences increased to the point that I decided to ask that they be
diminished for a while, to give me more time to develop the material-
financial side of my life. At the time I didn't know how I was going
to integrate these changes into my life and pay my bills. I was even
concerned that I might become insane. Everything calmed down as I
requested, but for long.
About three springtimes ago, while driving in my car with a friend, I
experienced a sudden shift in my consciousness. It was as if I had
become merged with another
"I" that had suddenly become active. My consciousness's perception
began to operate from an exalted level. As I spoke, I chose words
that were loftier and more eloquent than I normally used. I turned
my attention toward the Sun and was so enraptured by its Glory and
the Love that it manifested, that I could have given my life at that
moment for the love and deep gratitude I was feeling for what the Sun
had
done for all the lifeforms on our planet. I was dumfounded and
nearly senseless to think of the immense love that would connect
something as insigificant as me, into all of this magnificent
creation, and would allow me to experience everything on the level
that I was experiencing it. My speech was difficult,
from trying to hold back crying and tears. The more I thought of our
Sun's connection to the majestic process of evolution and of our
inner-connectedness with it (the Sun) and all life, the more I
experienced an almost unbearable gratitude, which led to more
profound awareness of the Love behind the process of creation. My
perception of beauty was so elevated, that I could barely look at my
surroundings and keep myself composure. I was perceiving something
that made it painful for me to open my eyes normally. Throughout the
length of the entire experience; which lasted about four hours, I had
to squint my eyes in order to see. All around me I percieved some
kind of presence or energy that I referred to as the Christ energy.
I saw no apparitions, no lights--just perceived my world
differently.
Although for four hours I could not hold back periods of tears and
sobbing,I was able to drive a car, eat lunch and finish my
meeting with a radio ad saleman. This enabled me to know that
enlightenment doesn't have to be frightening or morbid, like some
have warned.
For the past six or seven years (except for three years ago), I have
felt that I have been in a
spiritual desert. My retail business (a spirit, mind and body
store), and other things I have to continually care for, consume my
energy and time. I am thankful for what I have accomplished
materially, but I feel like it is time for expansion. I cannot
imagine living the rest of my life without enlightenment. I
frequently think of how I strongly yearn for union with the Source of
Love and Knowledge. Someone,
please, be my guide and friend. I do not want to become involved
with more materialism, such as money-oriented new age retreats run by
fraudulent wannabe gurus. I desire only genuine friends and
knowledge.
Light to all of you!
Brent Reed
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