To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/05/06 13:00
Subject: [K-list] Some thoughts : part I
From: Mario Floryn
On 2000/05/06 13:00, Mario Floryn posted thus to the K-list:
Namaste all,
I still have to read the mails of the last few days, but I went quickly over them
and I noticed my name a few times. To give you list members an idea of me, I'll
share a couple of thoughts/memories with you.
1) When I was a little boy (2 years), I once sat on a school bus and said to the
beautiful girl (I think she was 17) in front of me : "I love you" (in english,
which was extraordinary because my mother tongue is dutch, although I am belgian
and I couldn't have known english at that time:-)). I know some part of my
perception hasn't changed since kintergarden. As a matter of fact, sometimes I
feel like a big child with lots a troubles in a mature world. The strange thing
is, it's all in the eyes : I feel I am looking with the same big brown amazed and
curious eyes to this world.
2)One day I almost went crazy because I was wondering if it was right to chew the
candy on the right side of my mouth or the left side. No kidding !! Sartre (a
french philosopher) calls this 'The Disgust', I call it 'near-madness'. Anyhow,
and speaking of levels of perception, to live in a dimension where everything
becomes a question of good and evil is far from healthy. Nevertheless, it is
sign, as everything in my life has become a sign. Question remains, what to do
with it... (the ethical dimension that is)
3)When I was 24 I wanted to become a druid. Then I met my girlfriend. We
participated at a ceremony on the most energetic point (axis) of a megalithic
site in Belgium. The man who led the ceremony told nobody about the implications
of the rite but later on a friend of mine, who was at the ceremony too, told
about the man telling him that he implanted an 'egg' (ethereal?) in everyone at
the ceremony to represent 25 frequencies of energy of the old (destructed)
megalithic system. Okay, if it's getting complicated : I didn't ask for an egg,
but I got one. I wonder if it's related to the "smashed melon" mystress detected
in the lower quarters of my right lung ? ...
4)Since early youth I am fascinated with death. Maybe that's why I have a hard
time living. Tibetan monks on the other hand ensure us to practice the art of
dying because "he who dies before he dies, dies not when he dies". I wrote a song
lyric about this attitude of mine against death. It goes like : "When death came
courting, I sent him far away... a fool's ambition, for death is here to play".
To point out my strange relation with death : while I wrote this song my dearest
kitten Wookie died due to a car accident. I almost felt it died because of me...
and what about evil spirits (no really; I mean it) ...??
5) When I was shopping this week I came to a thought : 'Searching' is always a
'searching for oneness'. We have a zillion options these days and we keep on
searching that one option to set us free from duality. Then I thought : this is a
cosmic joke because we have mistaken 'unity' for 'oneness' or 'THAT one thing'.
Unity implies everything, so all options are okay. It doesn't matter what I do
:-)))
6) Still, I do nothing these days... accept maybe reading your mails and
meditating once in a while. If I could perceive myself as an other... maybe I
would understand us better... You know, I lived with a constant fear of losing
consiousness for five years. Thousand moments I had when I almost dropped to the
floor, when I almost fainted. But something could not release, something would
not let go of the control... now that I am trying to surrender as Mystress
suggested, I feel it coming again... the thing inside me that wants to get out,
the tension... maybe I'm too much of a dramatizer, but it sure scares the hell
out of me... a therapist (Reichian) once told me "I am not doing any rebirthing
with you because I'll not be held responsible if you depart on me (that is, leave
your physical body behind or die as we use to say)..."
7) Six thougts is enough to digest I guess. Thank you for listening. Thank you
Mystress (your nice vibes have reached the coasts of western europe and are very
much accepted by yours truly :-))). Oh joy !
Greetings,
Mario.
Bless you all.
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