Recieved: 2000/03/25 19:57
Subject: Re: [K-list] Blame Canada (To El)(To Julie)
On 2000/03/25 19:57, Ckress posted thus to the K-list:
In a message dated 03/25/2000 3:13:18 PM Pacific Standard Time,
<< From: "Marion Hanvey" <loulou_3ATnospamhotmail.com>
I blame that God/Goddess for many things!
(Hope He/She/It is not a spiteful He/She/It/Thingy keeping count) >>
There's a scene in a movie with a retarded man inside a church, staring up at
a statue of Jesus crucified on the cross. The man turns to a priest and
says, "If I were God, I'd never let anyone do that to my boy." It's a
poignant moment in the film, because it is later revealed that the reason the
man is retarded is because when he was a child, his father beat him so
severely he was left permanently brain-damaged.
I find this scene in the film a metaphor for our bewilderment and grief and
outrage at a Creator who made sentient beings with a capacity to suffer and
hurt one another. I understand your anger at this, Loulou. Early in my
life, I decided that God/Creator must be a sadistic bastard. If I were God,
I thought (LOL), I'd childproof the universe with no sharp edges and no way
that my precious children could be harmed. Then I'd give them total liberty
to play and explore and create to their hearts' content. No boundaries,
nothing denied. Just a world of fun and joy and thrills and love and
In fact, to my limited ability, this is how I raised my own children. I was
a real hit with all their friends because except for protecting their safety,
I pretty much let them run hog wild. I indulged my kids like crazy,
encouraged them to follow their own dreams and never to let anyone convince
them they were less than wonderful. In short, I gave them everything I'd
never received from my family or God in this life. At the time, I regarded
what I was giving my children as unconditional love.
Huge lesson for me: My daughter has grown up to be almost pathologically
self-centered, with an insatiable sense of self-entitlement. She dismisses
everyone's needs and desires but her own as invalid, and expects people to
cater to her every whim. This attitude has cost her many close friends and
is currently destroying her marriage. Even with years of therapy, she's made
little progress because she managed to find a therapist whose outlook
reflects the one I used to have, and who inadvertently supports my daughter
in her belief that she's the center of the universe.
It's good that I discovered astrology, otherwise I would have spent the rest
of my life guilt-stricken that my mothering style had created a little
monster. But I didn't do it; she came in with a "I want to live like a
queen" imprint and naturally she gravitated to me, who would treat her like
royalty during her childhood. (We also had past karmic connections.) She
and I both needed the overindulgence experience to learn what we came to
That was only one of many heavy lessons which have shown me that a world
without limits, without restrictions, with nothing to promote self-discipline
and self-denial would result in nothing but infantile, self-absorbed souls.
Now if that meant that nobody got hurt, one might ask, "What's so wrong with
that?" Nothing is wrong with it. Yet we and the Creator/Self/Source are
capable of so much more! My daughter is a bright and talented woman, and she
could be enjoying life so much more and giving so much more to the world if
only she knew that everything is better shared. She's here to learn that.
It might take a long time for her.
I came in knowing about the beauty of sharing and consideration of others.
My soul quest was different: I'm here to learn to trust the Universe/Source
again. I got caught in the kind of anguish/rage that Loulou expresses about
the terrible side of existence. I needed to know WHY. I demanded to know
WHY. (Be careful what you ask for, LOL.) My entire life has been one long
multileveled complex answer to my question (which is the kind of answer I
need). Some others have come in with a question similar to or the same as
mine, and by talking about it, we help each other piece together the answer
we're receiving. If you've come with a different question or mission, none
of this may apply to you. Just skip past it and go on to the stuff that has
meaning to you, but don't deny me/us the right to explore my/our stuff too.
As to God/Goddess being spiteful for being blamed, my God/Self experience
says NEVER. You can rant and swear and scream and howl all you wish, it's
okay. From the God/Self vantage point, it's like me watching my baby son
have a tantrum when I wouldn't let him eat the bar of soap in his bath. To
me, he was just cuter than hell. That's what we are to God/Self when we rail
at Him/Her/It: innocent little children. It's totally understood that we're
just expressing our frustration because we can't understand why we aren't
getting what we want... or why we're getting what we don't want.
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