To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/12/16 13:46
Subject: [K-list] Re: Adam and Eve (Ecstatic Communion)
From: Wim Borsboom
On 1999/12/16 13:46, Wim Borsboom posted thus to the K-list:
Dear Larry and list,
Am so glad to hear from you again. As I wrote to you before, whatever I
write, I always have you in mind. Not surprised that (and how) you follow up
on one of my previous posts. So glad I can tie in some of my latest
conclusions with your recent experience.
This may become quite a lengthy post...
You wrote:
>....the process described by Wim
(the cerebro spinal fluid/nectar connection)
>I have also experienced many times..
>However, last night, I had a new experience
>...my own energy wasn't involved
>at all...it was all from gaia...thru
>the bottom of the feet...gradual
>build-up until release thru the crown.
Later on in this post I would like to pull up an ancient memory of mine
about which I wrote in a previous post. That post did not generate any
reaction at all. Not that I wrote about that memory with that purpose
(reaction) in mind, but then...why do I write...? Yes indeed, why do we
write???
Now, I am fully aware that some of what I will write about will go against
the grain of many established, almost axiomatic beliefs, some beliefs that
even non religious, non Christian, non theistic ppl., non believers (ha!)
hold without being aware of it.
I just put the following out there as an example. Not that I think it is
that significant for all readers. Not that the healing (hurting really) it
describes is typical for many healers. BTW the healer who is being referred
to in this occurrence is quite well known and respected. Also I do not write
this to disrespect this person, I know enough about the healing
functionality to not second guess methods and efficacy too much. So please
do not take me wrong. Also in what I write I undoubtedly show some of my
shortcomings re judgement... please bear with me, am working on it. What is
clear from my account is that healing in the "new agey" world is quite
muddled up and stained with some totally outdated judgement structures:
guilt, blame, a strange form of forgiveness etc.
There is a lot of hurting being done in the "new agey" healing field. Very
comparable to what happened after Jesus passed away.
First my experience of a few evenings ago. Emmy, Michelle and myself are at
a birthday party where there are some very neat and fantastic ppl. Amongst
them is an interesting, sweet man who, we later find out, is a person who
helps his clients through *past* life/lives regression, to get in touch with
and handle their *current* life problems.
Also, (seriously, I am amazed) this man says all the right things,
pretty well identical conclusions to life's more mysterious aspects as I
have figured out. "A radical philosopher!" I say, but..., but 'but' keeps
popping up.
"No, no, no..." I keep saying to myself, "I think he is allright..., I think
he is OK..."
"Why am I saying that," I wonder, "there is something in and about him
that ticks me off", something disturbs me deeply about him. The three of us
and that gentlemen eventually get together and he, rather uninvitedly (which
was kind-o'-OK with me) starts working on Michelle, who by the way is
quite aware of the foilbles that life has been throwing her and who is
uncannily able to manage her own self-reintegration in a very orderly and
planned manner. The path she is walking on is very straight and clear. (Must
be Kundalini..., is Kundalini... :-) He is prodding and pushing and rattling
her chain. She is unperturbed, there is something she is protecting, but it
is not the kind of protection that an *insecure* person throws around him or
herself. Something very authentic about her must not be touched. As his
prodding goes on about Michelle's relationship to her mother, Emmy,
my wife, is getting very involved with and touched by what the man brings
up.
Emmy is definitely getting keyed in by some of the pronouncements that come
from his direction, she is getting teary eyed... ... ... then he strikes...
He
switches from one 'prey' to the other (I say this now in retrospect, as I
was
just flabbergasted at that moment, observing what I was observing.) The man
now prods my wife about her mother... Oh yes, there is stuff there no doubt,
this man is very intuitive... There are wounds there, no mistake about that,
healing wounds though, not to be picked at, lest... ... But he is
picking.... He
asks her, (I am selecting some sentences here.) "How do you feel about your
mom? Did you hurt her when you were young? Yes? Do you feel responsible for
her pain in life? Also her pain, giving birth to you? Do you want to ask for
forgiveness...? Emmy interjects, putting fragile sentences together...
tentative but worth trying... this will bring her strength: "I always
wondered whether I was wanted. Whether I should have been born..., a girl...
So many
daughters and my father needed another boy for on the farm. Did she
love me, was I appreciated... She blamed me for what I was. Did my mom
really love me? I always wondered. Did she *really* love me?" Emmy is
sobbing now...some relief is setting in... My dad also, he always..."
sobbing again, wiping off tears, trying to breath as well. Then the man
interrupts, insistingly, breaking off Emmy's train of liberating
formulations. "We will deal with your father later!" he almost bites the
words, "You caused your mother so much pain..., you want to ask her for
forgiveness." He is able, (this man is persistent) to make her repeat after
him, (Emmy is weeping by now, shaking and shivering, her freedom fight
having turned into defeat) "Mom, will you please forgive me?" In fact, he
has her saying this to Michelle, she has to look Michelle into the eyes.
(Is he thinking something to the effect that Michelle, who was born just
after
Emmy's mother's death, that Michelle is Emmy's
mother-come-back-into-her-life... now as a close friend whom we have taken
into our life?)
Alarm bells start going off in my ears. I know, I am sceptical about this
concept, but I am also genuinely disturbed, something is out of kilter here.
Some energy reversal is taking place, this is not the flow of energy that
Emmy is used to in her recent years self re-origination... There is no doubt
that there is quite a release of energy here. Emmy's throat just opens up,
the lump that was there upon starting this 'bit of treatment' is now gone,
an immense
amount of energy is passing through her crown, her head is shaking back and
forth.
"Isn't this miraculous etc... etc...?" There is an audience now,
'comforting' Emmy.
But..., but..., something is awry... I am reminded of the public confessions
we had to do in the monastery when I was a young Trappist monk.
The man, satisfied, (gloating?) sits in an easy chair. I wonder..., am I
judging him, jealous maybe... I am flabbergasted, at a loss, did I leave my
wife in the claws of a wolf? Did I just sit idly by?
It takes Emmy, Michelle and me a full day to analyse what went wrong. The
flow of her healing energy has reversed, the self incrimination is so
painful, she is
eventually so close to giving up on life. She contemplates her unworthiness
to live, contemplates suicide.
This thing has happened before about 23 years ago, when Emmy was,
unbeknownst to her, pregnant of Emanuel our son. Somebody, then also,
attempted to load guilt upon her, after a fabulous experience of realizing
the divine within, Emanuel, God immanent, the human/divine.
*Something about guilt, this eternal guilt...* Are children responsible for
the pain they cause? It must be more complex than that. The guilt, the self
incrimination, the defilement of sexuality, the flesh, carnality, the
deficiencies, shortcomings,
sinfulness, uncleanliness of conception.
It becomes clear to her, under duress she was forced to reverse roles: "How
is a child to be blamed? Why should a child be forced to ask for
forgiveness? How can humans be forced to ask for forgiveness? Anything
negative cannot come from the inside..., negativity is externally brought
about...!!!"
It is allowed, (obligatory I say) to look for the cause of inadequacies
externally... self incrimination is not right, is universally illegal,
against divine nature...
"Wim," she asks me, "tell me again of your memory of what happened to us so
many thousands of years ago in Eden?"
Please, take me serious in what follows.
(In fact a partial reprint of a previous post.)
This is not about some kind of vision that one gets
after ingestion of too much of this or that.
I have been blessed by many graces, God is good to me. I have been
able overcome so many tragedies, the Holy Spirit has been so miraculously
relevant in my life. Give me at least the benefit of the doubt, your ear.
What I remember of what happened in Eden, what happened r-e-a-l-l-y, should
give quite a twist to the lack of self-appreciation that we as mankind have
been so terribly made to suffer from. Even us, list ppl, so much children of
this 'new age' of SELF recovery, (however we describe and qualify that) have
been exposed to this wrongful curse of self incrimination. Some old
out-dated moral self-blame has infiltrated our story of hope, truth and
love. We create our own pain? Nonsense!!!. We choose our own parents?
Nonsense!!! We project onto others what we cannot deal with within
ourselves? Nonsense!!! We create our own fate and misery? It does not work
that way.
What I found out, needs to be told... Who I am? Does that matter? What
matters is that "one finds out that one is", and my revelation can make a
difference in that recovery
I am taking the risk of being who I am, and it is no sweat being that.
My life has been about this eternal pondering of truth. I could not and
never accept the inkling of the belief that we are born inadequate. My story
is part of an answer... to what question? Whatever that question is (we will
get to that later), the question should never have been there in the first
place...
Question? Q_U_E_S_T_I_O_N ?
Is not a question by itself THE overture to illusion.
How is it possible that we can NOT know.
Nature is NOT like that.
How have we been prevented to use creative imagination properly so that it
turned into speculative illusion?
When the questioning stops... creative reality only.
Cogito ergo sum
Knowing/Being
There is an AHA in there somewhere!
Larry wrote:
>...my own energy wasn't involved
>at all...it was all from gaia...thru
>the bottom of the feet...gradual
>build-up until release thru the crown.
Adam´s Memories
My memories of Adam while he was on an expedition to find out what the
desert was really like. Finding out if the stories that snakes kill you if
you leave the safety of the compounds in the hills are really true. Was that
just fear-mongering to prevent us from abandoning the tribal compounds? Why
were we not allowed to venture down into that hazy river valley?
After all these thousands of years, I still don't understand my father's
fear, the memory of this god (as he is now remembered) still instils fear
and almost guarantees damnation over the promise of freedom. Why did he in
those days insist we needed to always stay hunter/gatherers? We would do all
right, my mate/partner and me, with our new approach to cultivate and refine
the plants and fruits in the valley. Why was utopia, just as it is in these
days, frowned upon? Are we so scared to be free?
This father of ours was not to be a very good god, as he operated by
instilling fear, judgment and punishment. His memory still persist in
religious approaches that deal with death and judgment and freedom only...
if you give up your freedom in the name of belief, faith and dependence.
We (me and partner Eve as she is called now in scriptures and commentaries)
went back one day to the tribal compound to tell everyone about the lack of
danger down in the valley and beyond, about the wonderful growing methods
that we had discovered and applied, about our discovery of immortality and
the illusion of death, about the cosmic and universal knowledge of the
divine within and without. Humans could be such wonderful beings if we could
just trust our cosmic heritage instead of our limited tribal pride and
history so based on the hatred of others.
Only the old "Wise Guy", as we called him, understood us. He had explained
to us that the most important part of our body was our spine. He did not use
that word, he used the words 'serpent bones' or 'snake bones', reminding us
that our skeleton was held upright by those bones that looked like the bones
of dead serpents. “Within the ‘snake bones´ was our energy,” he said, “Keep
those bones right and you will forever be right.” He also told us that we
could cast off fear and illusion like the snake casts off its skin, we could
be reborn, start again clean. Who believed him? Didn't we all sooner or
later develop hunched backs and had aches and pains. “We are like that,”
most of us said. “We fit our graves way better that way,” some of us joked.
I told the tribal members, of this one morning that I left my Eve (she was
harvesting fruit,) to venture off into the desert. Down in the valley it was
always hazy, but once I got higher up the sun was blazingly hot. The bushes
were very prickly and dried out, rather grey and wide apart, almost waist
high. The orange/yellow/grey dirt was quite packed, I hardly left footprints
in it. Then.... from underneath one of the rocks or bushes, I don't know,
slithered this viper towards me, it was no more than about a foot long, even
less, rather sandy coloured. I remembered my dad's warning, the impending
death, but I did not believe it, I had no reason for fear. Did this animal
know I meant danger, why would it kill me? I would not kill it. I became
quite light-hearted, light-bodied even and it was as though I was lifting
myself off the ground as the viper curvily went its way forward below my
feet, surely never even having noticed me. I was not amazed, it was so
self-evident to me that fear would have been more dangerous than some
happenstance moment of reality in which there was a slight chance of a
possible physical encounter with again another slight chance of some form of
attack. If anything I was to be feared more by the viper than I by the
viper.
I tumbled over these confused thoughts and eventually I regained my footing
on the soil...surprisingly strongly. I felt I had overcome something of an
historical impact. I stood so straight, so erect, so strong, my head carried
so proudly by my 'serpent bones'. I was so aware of my erect spine. A flash
of knowledge went through me, as though strait from the deepest depth of the
earth, up through my back and into my head. It got stuck there for a short
span of time and I did get the strong sensation of being deeply rooted in
the earth like strong healthy tree. All of a sudden it was as though from my
head up I shot off these powerful branches of lightning and.... floating
within these branches was a multifaceted, many spiked crystalline form,
whirling and buzzing and throwing off these scintillating colours. Than that
form descended into my head, it fitted so neatly and I started feeling so
vibrantly blissful.
Interruption
Here my reliving of this fantastic event from thousands of years ago in that
place now called Eden, was interrupted briefly and I almost shouted in my
Dutch mother-tongue, "Star of David!... And I saw clearly that what we call
devil is an illusive personification of evil, which is, in its turn, the
illusion of malevolent power that brings about the illusion of dependence,
fear and suffering. Illusion cannot stand reality, truth and freedom. It is
fear-mongers and power abusers who make the illusion of fear appear as more
real then the reality of truth. Threats to life and property, they use.
Threats they do not want follow up on lest they lose their prey to eternity.
A year before this memory, while I was vacationing in San Gimignano in
Italy, these same words had come to me after some six hours of ecstasy which
eventually, a week later, resulted in my temporary death and return to life.
Back to the Memory
Slowly, after the crystalline form had radiated off its glorious bliss
within me, unity/wholeness became evident in me; I could not think in a in a
fracturing analytical way anymore. It became evident to me that the
distinction of good versus bad was flawed thinking. Indeed, that all
opposites... any kind of opposites do not exist in reality but in the
conceptualizing mind. Opposites have no reality in nature, the distinction
is physically absurd and unsound. Opposite-ness is inadequate, unworkable to
use for the understanding of life, love and truth. I saw forebodings and
visualizations of something that we would later name gauge fields.
I, Adam - philosopher, together with my mate - inventors, we shall develop
agriculture, irrigation and a new human integration of love, and
unquestioned security with each other. We shall unlimit our creativity, we
shall rejoin the divine with the human. The divine and the human, those
characteristics are not mutually exclusive, indeed they are necessarily
inclusive of each other, they are not separate and opposing functionalities
that attract or fend off. Fear and faith are also not to be incomprehensibly
united. Love and truth characterize integral unity in reality.
Is death the opposite of life? That is impossible. Death by definition is
non-existence, it does not exist, how can it then possibly be an opposite.
Death happens only in the eye of the observer who treats it as
real... the observation of an outsider, a non-participant in that momentous
event that goes by the name of 'death'. The observer is not the subject of
transition...
And then it became crystal clear. We are one eternal and omnipresent reality
focused and concentrated in this moment. And I felt that my spine was like
an enormously powerful tree trunk, concentrating and condensing all the
communications between anything and anywhere and anytime. And I sprouted
enormously in all directions.
Interruption
Here again my reliving of this fantastic event from thousands of years ago
in Eden, was interrupted briefly and again I almost shouted in my
mother-tongue, "Tree of Jesse, tree that depicts eternal life, all
encompassing intermingling of multi-dimensional webs of reciprocal
relationships." and I remembered one of Hildegard von Bingen's visions.
Back to the Memory
I thought of my partner in the orchard collecting the fruit, and instantly I
was with her, and I knew that she simultaneously with me had gone through
identical realizations. We were indeed now free of tribal ties, untouchable
by fear and malevolent power, inviolate by sin or guilt. These illusive
concepts had lost all their seeming reality...
Shall we tell the others? We enthusiastically returned to the tribe's
compound in the hills, related our discoveries to the Wise Guy who was not
at all surprised as he had foreseen our endeavour's realizations as
inevitable. We related our discoveries to our brothers and sisters and the
children, two of which came with us, one of whom would attempt to sabotage
our methods and who would kill his successful brother. We related our
discoveries to our parents who blamed each other for bringing forth such
offspring as we were. We were excommunicated from the tribe as they set up
watch so we could not ever return. Eden was luckily safe as we lived on....
Our stories were terribly miscommunicated, mistranslated and misunderstood,
becoming lies in the oral and written traditions of envious god/ancestors
who could not love and let live. They punished instead with death, damnation
and the perennial ceremonial hand-downs of blame and guilt...
We shall set them free... as we will free all our offspring from the blame
of having been forced to live under the power of illusion, original sin',
the handed-down guilt and pronouncement of inadequacy.
So much love and freedom,
Wim
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