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To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/11/29 02:53
Subject: Re: [K-list] carnivores/vegetarians.
From: Zala

On 1999/11/29 02:53, Zala posted thus to the K-list:

meating eating is disturbing to everything human. meat eaters are sick
sick sick on all levels

On Thu, 25 Nov 1999 CKRESSATnospamaol.com wrote:

:+In a message dated 11/25/1999 12:26:03 PM Pacific Standard Time,
:+nomadbritATnospamaol.com writes:
:+> I was a meat-eater for 47 years until last year. I loved meat and always
:+> looked forward to my favourite meal of chicken vindaloo. then one
:+> I was eating my favourite dish when suddenly the site of the pieces of
:+> chicken started to disturb me. I felt a great surge of compassion - not
:+> intellectual or emotional but as a stream of energy flowing into me. I
:+> started to cry out loud in the
:+> restaurant and silently asked forgiveness from all the animals that I had
:+> eaten and thanked them for giving their life so that I might live.
:+This kind of thing happens when the heart breaks open: the sudden merging of
:+one's consciousness with the consciousness of other living beings. It has
:+hit me many times in my life. Once I felt blasted by the pain of all animals
:+in captivity and it hurt so much I impulsively released my pet canary
:+outdoors. It soared like a golden rocket into the brilliant summer sky...
:+and probably died a few days later of hunger or shock. But at that moment,
:+giving it even a day of freedom seemed the most important act of attrition I
:+could offer it. In retrospect, most animals born in captivity would probably
:+not like being "released" any more than any one of us would want to be
:+suddenly dropped alone into the wilderness to fend for ourselves, although
:+some part of me wants to believe that at least in that first moment of
:+skyward liberty, the canary was ecstatic.
:+I had another heart-expansion some years ago when, while out in my garden, I
:+suddenly merged with the consciousness of everything growing there. The
:+energy of the plants and flowers was unbelievably blissful and serene, and
:+most awesome of all were the trees. I felt them to be in a state of samadhi,
:+just luminous, pure love-satchidananda almost too beautiful for me to bear.
:+Then a day later, the mail came and it was mostly a heap of junk mail.
:+Suddenly I felt the tragic impact of all the lives of the
:+illumined-spirit-trees which had been sacrificed for this pile of crap. I
:+wanted to tear out my heart and run screaming down the road, screaming and
:+screaming, knowing that I could do nothing to stop my species from continuing
:+such acts of ignorance-bred savagery. My mind was racing and I thought, "I
:+have to refuse to ever again accept any junk mail. I have to send it all
:+back and write to all these companies and tell them... wait, I can't write to
:+them, that would mean more butchered trees!" So then I realized I couldn't
:+write anything hard copy ever again (which is radical for me, since I'm a
:+writer)... and I could never again use a kleenex... or any toilet tissue...
:+And I started to spin with this deeper and saw all the complications, so no
:+matter how I tried to get out of it, it became a catch-22. "I'll give up
:+everything! I'll live naked in a cave and live on rain water... no, there
:+are conscious organisms in rain water! I'll... I'll commit suicide... no,
:+that would kill metropolises of tiny organisms living in my body..." So
:+there I was, mentally at a deadend, half-crazed with grief, until finally I
:+had to accept that I couldn't opt out. I couldn't remain alive on this plane
:+without being in some way instrumental in inflicting suffering on other
:+beings. And I came to realize that all I could do was to try my best to
:+minimize the damage I cause. Try to be as sparing and careful as I can. And
:+to have compassion on myself and on all other beings who are here who share
:+this same predicament with me.
:+It was during this time that I wrote my "Stigmata" poem, which I later posted
:+to the K-list. I didn't preface the poem with any explanation when I posted
:+it, and it seemed then that no one but a Vietnam war veteran on list related
:+to it. Here's the poem:
:+by El Collie
:+The heart sees: everything is soaked in blood.
:+The language of suffering is universal and often loudest in silence.
:+Everything is stained an invisible red, even the shadows, even the stars.
:+Everything is desperately, rhapsodically bleeding.
:+It is unstaunchable.
:+The blood is always there, seeping through.
:+Everything is drenched and screaming in a world that claims to be deaf and
:+We carefully wash our hands, pretending not to see
:+that everything is a testament to the wound of living.
:+We agree not to know what we know while our ignorance turns us to stone.
:+But the heart sees very well: the whole world is a hemorrhage.
:+Everything is sticky with blood, inside and out.
:+Everything is gushing and scarlet,
:+even this page,
:+even this moment,
:+even God.


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