To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/11/26 15:28
Subject: [K-list] ANGER
From: Steve Salter

i do not understand. i have been trying to proceed as I have all
along...accepting whatever comes...letting things go...immersing myself in Love.

today though...i am alone. I went to my parents for the traditional thanksgiving
celebration and after many months of not seeing my siblings (they are christians
and i have always been the black sheep) it was good to reestablish a continuity.

i did, of course, wear my diamond stud earring in honor of a celebration, which
thrills my niece and makes her mother (my straightlaces xian sister) sigh.
i do not relinquish mySelf to anyone except god which is me.

today though...

ANGER!

ANGER has flooded through me. I HATE the principal I had in 4th grade that
humiliated me and punished me for something I did not do. I HATE him for ruining
my life for so many years. If I had met him today I would have shoved my hand
into his chest and ripped out his heart (echoing Aztec chants...)...

I had a flood of powerful energy flood into me during this emotional time and
went outside to try to attune myself to the placid, enduring oak and hickory
trees.
Instead I felt a surge of power (ever stick your finger into a wall socket?) and
slammed my fist through the side of my garage (which, unfortunately I had just
painted a week ago.) I went through the light sheet metal siding and through a
2x4 and created deep gashes that glinted white before the blood began to flow
out.

is ok. I have been soaking my hand in cold water and thinking at it. Gashes are
closing although I probably should get stitches.

other stuff but it is sexual and i am not ready to relate it.

i must just accept what is happening and let it pass through and remain
(discover?) mySelf.

-me.

DISCLAIMER!

---

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