To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/11/22 15:10
Subject: Re: [K-list] transcending hate, transcending pain, transcending
From: alingimp
On 1999/11/22 15:10, alingimp posted thus to the K-list:
Dear Joel,
You wrote:
>Transending hate, transcending pain, transcending anger, transcending
>sadness,
>how do you do it ?
>I know it is not easy, but i suppose it is neccesary if you want
>to become really happy.
This is a good question. The emotions you are mentioning are experienced by
most people to avarying degree including myself. I, too, think that they
should be transcended in order to find happiness. This, maybe not
surprisingly, is one of the points where some of the major religions like
Hinduism, Judaism, Buddhism and Christianity do agree with each other.
As to how to overcome these emotions: This may take a lot of time and work
as well as a lot of patience. Changes, at least in my case, tend to happen
gradually and over time. A start at how to overcome negative emotions could
be constant self-observation. Self-observation may enable you get to the
root of those emotions. Try to be honest with yourself. This actually sounds
easier than it is because the mind has a tendency to outsmart itself...
Another factor that could prove helpful is getting rid of attachments in any
form. Attachments can be anything from physical objects to thoughts,
opinions, attitudes, behavioral patterns etc., basically all the ego-stuff.
In the end, it is exactly this ego-stuff that causes most, if not all of our
suffering. That's why the sages and saints of various religions, namely the
ones I mentioned above, all came to the same conclusion that the ego should
be transcended because it is ultimately the cause of our suffering. Needless
to say that I agree to that.
And of course there are various other, more involved practices that maybe
helpful to transcend negative emotions, such as meditation, prayer, study,
yoga, Q-Gong, T'ai Chi etc. etc., the list goes on, I just mentioned a few
that I know of.
>But perhaps even more than anything: How do you see it coming?
>How do you see if someone has "a bad moral" ? How do you see
>in advance if someone pretends to care for you, but it is not true,
>and they even end up hurting you ? And how do you deal with it?
>
Well, we can't always see what's coming. I guess live wouldn't be live
without at least some of it's lessons and surprises. The same goes for
people and their morals. I believe we can actually learn and grow from
negative experiences. At least I like to look at it that way. Had my fair
share of them and in the end it was more because of them than in spite of
them that I learned some of my most vital lessons in life.
Love,
Karin
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