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To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/11/09 06:40
Subject: Re: [K-list] Black magic and misuse of Power?
From: Ckress

On 1999/11/09 06:40, Ckress posted thus to the K-list:

I've been too immersed in other concerns to read much from the list for
awhile, but I did tune in when I noticed the long post from Angelique. As
much as I have an affectionate regard for her, I can't go along with much of
her metaphysical/map of reality. My personal probings in this direction
usually leave me with as many questions as answers. For instance, from the
standpoint of synchronicity, there does seem to be a connection between
storms, hurricanes, etc. and both the individual and group human psyche, yet
natural disasters -- as we humans see them -- also serve ecological purposes
which have nothing to do with clearing the air "of human emotional chaos."
So how much is being caused by us and how much is instead a sort of
holographic mirroring, where we reflect outer energies which simultaneously
reflect our inner energies? Am I grouchy because the weather is cruddy, or
is the weather grouchy because I'm cruddy, or neither/both?

And I recently read an article that said meteorologists have found that
contrary to public opinion, there hasn't been an increase in the global
frequency or severity of major storms. The earth has always gone through
cycles of intense weather patterns, but we've only recently had the satellite
surveillance and worldwide communication facilities to be collectively aware
of how often storms are occurring.

This one will probably get me booed, but the whole business of a rising
planetary vibration seems tenuous to me, especially when this theory is used
to divide the world into us (the evolved folks) and them (the lower caste
dregs). It sounds too much like the old paradigm religions, where the
good/saved/righteous people are rewarded with heaven/health/wealth/happiness
while the bad/heathen/ignoramuses get shipped to hell or doomed to run like
hamsters on the endlessly revolving wheel of karmic birth/death. The only
difference I can see is in terminology (i.e., "negativity, blockages, Big
Fear" instead of "sin, heresy, ego" and so forth).

If you're not a lightworker, are you a dimslacker? There is an elitism and
smugness here that really gives me the creeps. Most of the people who go out
into the trenches, putting their bodies and sometimes their lives on the line
trying to help this gazillion-needy-causes world know nothing of vibrational
levels, and they don't go around congratulating themselves for transcending
the human condition. The idea of a "love" which can be attained by a special
group of people whose job it is to cleanse the rest of the fear-ridden
low-lifes through forgiveness or psychic jujitsu or whatever doesn't sit well
with me. It seems like staking claims on things we're too small to own.
I've had my heart blown open so wide I could forgive anything, but at that
moment I knew "I" wasn't doing it. I was merely an awestruck witness to this
overwhelming power operating through me.

I wonder how a spiritual philosophy can be unitive when it is so inherently
divisive? If we're all connected, then aren't we equally vulnerable to being
overcome by fear, greed, rage, grief, etc.? And aren't we all worthy of
experiencing love, peace, joy, comfort, fulfillment, and so forth? I don't
see genuine evidence that these experiences are more deserved or earned by
some than others.

I do believe that there are a rare few extraordinary avatar-souls who are so
egoless and pure that they remain totally centered no matter what provocation
or turmoil they encounter. Yet from my own transcendent experiences, I don't
see how any type of esoteric knowledge, right thinking, inner guidance or
spiritual practice can pave the way to this level of consciousness. And I
also think that we're wherever and whatever we are because that is precisely
what the universe needs of us. A hummingbird isn't inferior to an eagle
because it can't soar as high; each has its own role to play in the whole.

For the last seven years, I've been involuntarily enrolled in a course in
suffering via physical pain and illness. I've gone from trying to heal
myself to feeling utterly crushed and defeated by it to raging against it to
trying to accept it to beginning to glimpse the dark value of it. "It"
includes everything on this plane that deprives, torments, persecutes and is
generally regarded as destructive. I'm not saying that I've made peace with
any of this. Yet I have learned to respect it as purposeful, which on some
days helps me endure it and some days I don't give a damn, I just want it to

I've come to understand that the harsh-side horror-show stuff is more than
garbage that needs to be sanitized by the Light or hauled off to some
intergallactic dumping ground. All this stuff we want to get rid of isn't
just psychic debris, it's here for a reason. Consider the oyster: no
irritating grain of sand, no pearl. Or the carbon/diamond transformation:
without pressure, all you get is charcoal. We can have simulated pearls and
zircon diamonds without the fuss, but it won't fool a jeweler. The soul
wants the real thing.

In heaven, or a Golden Age when everything is easy and everything can be
managed, there isn't a possibility for or meaning to qualities like courage,
compassion, honor, loyalty, endurance, humility, strength, self-sacrifice.
One might counter that these wouldn't be needed in a perfect world. But the
soul needs them; it longs for the intense beauty that these qualities
contain. The terrible truth is that they cannot be developed except through
the fires of pain, loss, terror, shame, loneliness. It has been said that
the heart is the only instrument that still works after it has been broken.
Taken a step further, it is after it has been broken that the heart works
most magnificently ...

Maybe eventually the soul becomes so satiated it feels that it's received all
the gifts of the Light and learned all the teachings of the Darkness, and so
is able to let everything go. Perhaps then we are fully enlightened, forever
liberated from need or desire. Then life is no longer something outside us
or around us or even within us, because there is no separation at all. The
core invisibility is when we cease to be visible to ourselves. Then there is
only center, no us/them, only eternal radiance.



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