To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/11/08 06:04
Subject: [K-list] Verbal noise
From:
On 1999/11/08 06:04, a list member posted thus to the K-list:
A weirdest thing happened to me this weekend. I was home alone, and played
some computer games too long => didn't get enough sleep. When I woke up in
the morning, I felt trouble "gathering" my toughts - my mind was filled
with verbal noise, words that were of no sensible language (probably
random combination of syllables). This was slightly entertaining
initially, but I started to worry as it didn't seem to go away with time
like these "morning-experiences" usually do. The flow of nonsense
inhibited normal cognition to some extent. Obviously I could have
"terminated" the experience immediately with well-gauged amount of select
psychoactives, but I chose to observe & determine what this new phenomenon
is like. This experience in fact forced me to let go of control (the more
control I attempted to impose on it, the more crappy I felt). After I
allowed the experience to happen and took the position of complete
ego-surrender, I felt overwhelming surge of bliss... walked around the
house, being what I really am, with NO ego presence. This feeling reduced
somewhat with time, luckily. I can't imagine doing any sort of social
stuff (eg. talking, studying) in that state of mind.
In the evening I wasn't tired enough to sleep, so I, spiritually mature
individual that I am, chose to tune myself down with 10mg of diazepam. It
always serves to remind who is the boss in the house - ego or K.
Similar experiences, anyone? Any idea what happened? I'm going to reduce
my meditation frequency, for sure...
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