To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/09/13 12:07
Subject: Re: [K-list] Using Anger Usefully
From: Lesley Richardson
On 1999/09/13 12:07, Lesley Richardson posted thus to the K-list:
Your post is a gentle, courteous response on the subject of anger and
it felt very good to read it.
I believe Jesus says in St. Matthew's Gospel that
> everyone should 'Love thy neighbour as thyself. This
> is the second greatest commandment'.
And very hard to do but it has some astonishing effects. Most do not
understand quite what the effects can be though.
There's a very interesting phenomenon, which can be tested out quite
easily. There is a very good reason for the expression "loving
something to bits." Love is an incredibly strong emotion in terms of
correcting a situation. When someone is behaving in the way you
describe, I try loving the situation. The further someone is into
denying the truth, the greater the corrective action brought about by
loving the situation. And this is not airy fairy stuff. It actually
works. In fact, it works so effectively I've become very careful about
which situations I choose to love in this way because if the situation
is very bad, the corrective action can be correspondingly severe. There
is a wonderful description in one of the Teachings of the Masters of
the Far East books (Baird Spaulding) of this type of love in action. I
may not have the title of the books quite correct.
In fact, sometimes the more you love a situation, the greater the rage
that explodes out of it, especially when the love is completely
unconditional.
I also do the same with the people
> who refuse to show the slightest bit of anger, the
> so called 'passive aggressives'. In my experience
> they either snap one day and become very unpleasant
> indeed, or else they suddenly walk out of my life
> without saying goodbye and I never hear from them
> again.
--- Charles Vermont <FunchoiceATnospambtinternet.com> wrote:
> In response to the recent posts, I would say I find
> anger a very useful emotion. When someone else
> invades my space, or acts in any other disrespectful
> way towards me, anger gives me the courage and
> impetus to assert my displeasure. When I become
> angry with myself I know it is time for me to make a
> change in my life. I also believe many of the past
> political changes in world started when a group of
> people became angry about their working
> conditions/social conditions/restrictions on their
> freedoms.
>
> However, I try to be very careful about how and when
> I express my anger. In my experience, some people
> find it difficult to handle so I try to be more
> gentle when I communicate this feeling. I like to
> express my anger to them by using milder words such
> as irritation, frustration and disquiet, and also
> not raise my voice. What's more, I often find that
> my anger isn't anger at all, merely a deep sadness.
> I try to keep a close eye out for that.
>
> I have not always done this. There was a time when I
> had a very short fuse and would fly off into a rage
> at the slightest provocation. Looking back, I
> believe this was because I was deeply unhappy at the
> time and I thought this was an OK way of showing it.
> I am now sure it wasn't.
>
> As for the posts on courtesy and other religions, I
> believe Jesus says in St. Matthew's Gospel that
> everyone should 'Love thy neighbour as thyself. This
> is the second greatest commandment'. I don't like
> other people becoming angry with me, so I try to
> show my neighbours the same courtesy. I accept their
> anger if I believe I deserve it, but tend to avoid
> anyone who is determined to give me regular,
> unprovoked doses. I also do the same with the people
> who refuse to show the slightest bit of anger, the
> so called 'passive aggressives'. In my experience
> they either snap one day and become very unpleasant
> indeed, or else they suddenly walk out of my life
> without saying goodbye and I never hear from them
> again.
>
> Charles Vermont
> London, England
>
>
>
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