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To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/09/04 17:21
Subject: Re: [K-list] Enlightened Love
From: Ckress

On 1999/09/04 17:21, Ckress posted thus to the K-list:

I've wondered why the spirituality of love has not come up very often as a
K-list topic. Now, from trying to respond to Black Swan's recent post, I'm
beginning to understand why it hasn't. Angelique hit the nail on the head
when she said that the Mystery School teachings could only address the
consciousness levels of the lower 3 chakras; the experiences of the upper
chakras were too immense to lend themselves to words. The heart is the 4th

Black Swan wrote:

>I am arguing for a personal relationship with the Being who IS love, not
with the effects / symptoms (light beams, radiant heart, increased
sensitivity and acceptance) of that Being. There is something much more
direct and personal possible, that I assert, if we truly know THAT, the rest
of the semantics would fall away in such self-evident truth. There just has
to be something more personal for which we were designed than relating with
enigmatic lights, energies, and entities. Something so incontrovertibly real
that we know we belong. Something that offers the possibility of this
enlightened love of which you speak really living through us instead of
trying to re-connect to some momentary past peak experience. Then loving
becomes actually ego-less, because it is never about me as an ego but only
about me as a conduit of it!<


>I can love with pure love only to the degree that love finds me, loves me,
and then, as a conscious recipient of divine love, flows through me simply to
make a lasting difference that is not even about me as any autonomous ego,
but is about me as in my eternal purpose.<

Black Swan seems very sincere and impassioned in her (his?) post, yet here is
a demonstration of the mind trying to embrace something that is out of its
league. Love, whether on the personal or transpersonal realm, is not an
intellectual event. We can't think our way into it. Trying to understand
love -- and to fill our need for it -- through even the most eloquent and
well-articulated ideas is like trying to address physical hunger by giving
speeches on the nutritional value of food. No matter how true our words
might seem, we're still left hungry. What is needed is to forgo the words
and sit down to a meal.

Love isn't something that can be argued for or summoned by assertions and
dissertations. I'm not trying to belittle Black Swan's genuine desire for a
loving relationship to the divine, and through it, to be a vehicle of love to
all. The trap of trying to access desperately wanted things through the
wrong channels is one I often fall into myself. It's taken me a long time to
realize that love is like the most shy of flowers which cannot be forced to
bloom in ourselves or anyone else. We can try to act in ways associated with
love: with gratitude, kindness, compassion, acceptance, etc. But as Black
Swan says, love has to find us. It has to open in us by grace like a rose
bud that unexpectedly and miraculously unfurls in our hearts. It isn't an
accomplishment, but a gift.

At the same time, if we want to receive love's incredible beauty and warmth,
we have to allow ourselves to be vulnerable and willing to delve down into
the deep waters of feeling rather than sticking to the much safer terrain of
dry intellect. What I hear in Black Swan's post is dry-docked grief. I
recognize it because I carry it too. Until we allow ourselves to be immersed
in our grief -- into the soul-searing anguish of feeling unloved and being
love-deprived (which to some degree all of us suffer from), we can't get down
to the oceanic depths of sweet, holy, crystal pure ecstatic love.

I know about this because every once in a rare while, I work up the courage,
or simply get pushed by brokenhearted despair, to plunge in there. But the
thing is that you can't just do it once or even once in awhile to keep the
love flowing. You have to get to a point where you're willing and able to
endure the pain of your own wound, and the pain of the wound of the world,
every single day, a hundred thousand times a day... Then you can live in
the light of constant love. This is a tremendous thing to ask of ourselves.
It's not likely to happen overnight. In the meantime, we can learn patience
with ourselves, knowing we're doing the best we can...



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