To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/09/03 05:48
Subject: [K-list] Re: [KList] Worries about archiving + social pretensio
From:
On 1999/09/03 05:48, a list member thus to the K-list:
On Thu, 2 Sep 1999, Jon-Carl Lewis wrote:
> I've worried about this sort of thing previously in my life, but to be
> honest, you are either big enough to own your truth or you are not. If
> you are not big enough to own your truth, then use a pseudonym or send
> your truth privately to a few friends.
I'm not big. I'm weak, as we all are, if we are honest to ourselves. K
really exposes one's weakness. There is no reason to be self destructive
to be "big", whatever that might mean.
And pseudonyms are troublesome, technically. It's so nice and simple this
way, and I would like that to continue.
> I'm rather glad that I don't have to worry about self-censoring at
> this point and I'd hate to have to start.
Me too, therefore I asked about archiving.
> Truth comes out anyway, eventually. Sort of like Kundalini.
>
> Are you really confident that you can hold back the essence of who you
> are if your truth, your Kundalini is rising?
Yes. Social life (this includes all interpersonal stuff) includes having
to do a big deal of pretension. I have managed to do it without too much
trouble for two years. Actually, social issues are not that important. One
"rule" of yoga is that we should make our lives simple. And the simplest
way to go is to pretend that you are normal when dealing with people. It's
of no use telling the truth, as people wouldn't understand and would think
of you as insane.
As a personal note, I have the additional burden of high expectations put
on me by my family and relatives (I was good at school). My relatives
would think "Poor X, he was so good and now he's all schizo"... while
I would really appreciate if people didn't think of me at all.
Of course my family knows the truth, as well as closest friends, but
that's about it.
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