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To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/08/31 09:34
Subject: [K-list] i know i'm crazy -- how crazy am i?
From: Jon-Carl Lewis

On 1999/08/31 09:34, Jon-Carl Lewis posted thus to the K-list:

Hello, folks,

hetairos here

i was wondering if some of my severe depression of the past few years hasn't been some sort of spiritual awakening trying to happen.

i have been pretty embarrassed by noticing that i have almost unlimited energy for spiritual pursuits: i.e. reading, walking meditation, singing, drawing, thinking about god for hours on end.

unfortunately, i have sever problems with balancing a checkbook, going out an d getting a job.

at times i feel i am possessed bythe god eros or hermes and want to run around doing eros or hermes energy and awakeningit in others.

folks, i am afraid i am quite mad.

but what is interesting is that i have hidden all of this behind the simple phrase "i'm coming out of a severe depression."

i'm scared. what am i going to be when i come out?

what happens if the depression lifts, and i cannot fit into a conventional lifestyle?

i'm working on my writing and art so that maybe i can get into a stream of money that doesn't require a conventional way of life.

any ideas or thoughts on this.

hetairos - feeling very baby like at the moment

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