To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/07/26 08:40
Subject: [K-list] laughing at fear
From: Fredaann
On 1999/07/26 08:40, Fredaann posted thus to the K-list:
Hello,
Does your inner guide have a slapstick sense of humor, mine does, any
time things get a little dull, or perhaps it only when I try to be
serious mine plays with me.
Yesterday I once again attempted a day excursion into the public streets
without the protection of darkness.
Before hand I had prepared to "laugh at fear" I had intended to keep my
laughter inside and private. Laughter draws attention, I dont need that.
I decided on a walk, two miles to the mall, maybe a little window
shopping, swing by the 7-11 on the way home, buy some smokes and a
slurpee and come home.
I was cool, made it to the mall. Walked in the door, which opens to a
food court and a Movie Theater, both full of people, one movie letting
out Sunday shoppers packing the tables.... and I step in a spilled coke
and slide 3 feet on the freshly waxed floor..... it felt like a million
years passed as I tried to gain my composure in front of a few hundred
people... but I remembered, "laugh at fear" and managed a sheepish grin
as I stood and somebody came with napkins to clean the spill....
I should have walked out the mall and headed home... but thinking I was
a tough ol woman I proceeded into the mall.
Feeling a gaggy feeling in my throat, and not knowing if I was gonna
puke or not I found a restroom to duck into and was whacked in the
forehead by a swinging door from an idiot coming out the wrong way.
This took my mind off my throat.
I was good to go, my third eye swollen and red. :0
But I aint scared, only bruised. I see the humor in this - still - I am
laughing in the face of fear. I doubt anyone was even aware of me at
this time and I sure wasnt afraid of them being aware of me, now my mind
is on getting home in one piece, to heck with the people, I was no more
aware of them than they were of me. I know this to be a fact... I was
invisible.. had to be cause I was suddenly knocked on my butt by a guy
running around a corner with a security guard hot on his trail, the
guard went right over the top of me without missing a step.... "hey,
guys, dont worry bout me! I'll be fine!!!" Just as soon as I get safely
home anyway.... jeez an old man sitting on the bench gave me a look of
such pitty that I nearly cried... but I wasnt gonna do that, all eyes,
nearly were on the direction of the thief and the guard so I got away
with very few stares, under the circumstances.
I did not go further thru the mall, I took the very next exit and headed
home.
At the 7-11 I did not get a slurpee cause there was a line at the drink
counter and I immediatly got gaggy so I bought me a scratch ticket and
my smokes instead and hurried the last two blocks home..
I won 100 dollars.
Laughing at fear.
: )
Spirit loves humor, always at my expense, but it pays pretty good!
have a happy and safe day,
freda
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