To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/07/25 12:44
Subject: [K-list] K rising/dark night
From: Scspirit
On 1999/07/25 12:44, Scspirit posted thus to the K-list:
Hi all,
Sharon had brought up the topic of dark night, thought I'd tell my
story, hopefully not too boring LOL!
I believe that I received shaktipat back in '76 or '77 when I was 21 or
22. I had read Autobiography of a Yogi and started attending services
regularly at the Self Realization Fellowship in San Diego. On Mother's
Day service all the moms received a pink carnation. I took it home, put
it in a bud vase, set it on top of a bookshelf. promptly forgot about
it. Around the end of August as I was getting books and such ready for
fall semester I happened to look up and saw the carnation nearly as
fresh as the day it was given to me, just a very, very thin darkening
around the edges! It had gone over 3 months with only the water that I
had put into the small vase, about one-third of a cup of water at the
most. When I reached up to bring it down I felt energy coming through
the vase, through my hand and it went throughout my body. It was a
lovely experience. I cherish the time I spent at the SRF.
I was also taking hatha yoga as a physical education requirement for
college. I kept up with that until the early 80's. I remarried and moved
to the San Francisco area. We went to Crater Lake in Oregon and the
redwood forests in northern CA and Oregon and that left a lasting
impression of deep peace.
We moved from there to SC in the mid 80's to June of '89. I did not care
for it here at first, culture shock I guess, but when we moved to
central Florida after a while I grew to miss the area although enjoyed
living in Florida as well.
My ex and I tried to have a child, I have a daughter who is 27 now, but
we wanted one of our own also. I took my temp every morning for months,
then a laparoscopy and different things, it just wasn't meant to be.
Adoption or foster care was out of the question with my ex, the marriage
got ugly to the point where he was trying to physically disfigure me, it
was very odd and scary at times. I felt inadequate because I could not
get pregnant but I do not feel that way now. I finally said that we
needed to go on with our lives so that he could have the child or
children that he was wanting and I could feel human again. I do not have
contact with him now, I do wish him well but do not have any desire to
be with him again. It has been peaceful not being in that situation for
the last 2 years.
Around 1993 or 1994 I felt energy on two occasions pull up from my
sacrum to right below my belly button. I had not had any surgeries at
that time to account for that. I also had uncontrollable desires to go
into yoga poses, I could not go to sleep until I had done them.
Sometimes I would wake up in the middle of the night to do that. About a
year after that I started sweating buckets of water, throwing up and
diarrhea at the same time. It would stop as suddenly as it started. I
went to a doctor who said it was the flu but it wasn't. The only
medication that helped was a medicine that was pulled off the shelf
because it was not supposed to be effective. I bought as many bottles as
I could find, wouldn't take the last one off the shelves though. That
subsided after about 3 months. The next year I had hellacious heartburn,
that was for about a month. When I moved back to SC in Feb of 97 I had a
period of having a sore throat that summer but realized right away that
I wasn't verbalizing what I needed to so I started talking to a friend
in Alanon who convinced me to come to the meetings and get stuff out.
Since then, I have not had any physical discomforts, just a red circle
between my eyebrows from time to time. I meditate on the chakras from
the crown chakra down, that helps to get and stay grounded.
I have had some unusual phenomena which happened earlier this year that
I wrote about in an earlier email and recently silverware and a salad
bowl have moved toward me when I was eating lunch with a friend at a
diner. There was no water underneath the bowl to account for the
movement, we had eaten at the same table several times without that
happening. She is metaphysically-minded so she didn't run screaming from
the table, was glad that the waitress wasn't close by refilling our
glasses though! That shook me up for a while but I am feeling all right
with it now, until the next time I guess! I really don't feel that these
things happen so that I can show off but I notice that I want to analyze
the tar out of it LOL!
Anywho, if you are still awake, thanks for reading this!
Love,
dee
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