To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/07/25 00:24
Subject: [K-list] from [phpbusnsATnospamflash.net]
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent
On 1999/07/25 00:24, Mystress Angelique Serpent posted thus to the K-list:
>>sharonATnospamfractalus.com <sharonATnospamfractalus.com>
>>Date: Saturday, July 24, 1999 11:13 AM
>>Subject: dark night poll...
>>
>>Hi Sharon, Hi all!
>
>Hmm...Dark Night stuff...my 2 cents of experience is:
>>>
>>>>If so, how many of you have experienced what you consider to be a "dark
>>>night of the soul?"
>>>
>>>Yes...
>>>BTW, how the heck are ya Sharon??
>>>I was just thinking of you yesterday. :-)
>>>(((((((((((big hug))))))))))
>>>
>Stephanie here,
>
> and I have experienced more than one dark night...the first was almost 2
>years and the minor episodes have been no more than a few months....I think
>for me it is the cycle of death and rebirth, over and over again...always a
>new me to be birthed.
>
>>>
>>><And if you did, what happened? How long did it last? And did it occur
>>>beforeor after K started?
>
>Oops! I answered that above...2 years at first...the big one after K
>started, but I had a dark winter of the soul years prior to active k being
>an undeniable force.
>>>
>>>Mine occurred after realization of oneness, of God, of all there is (I
>call
>>>it ''my three-hour tour")... K was extremely active for approximately 9
>>>months prior.
>>>After realization, a like occurrance of *birthing* labor happened - there
>>>were days of extreme bliss, then days of (ewww)
>>darkness/separation/nothing,
>>>which overall lasted 25 days. The days (bliss/dark) became shorter and
>>>shorter - expansion, contraction, expansion, contraction - it was very
>>>noticeable to me as a likeness to labor.
>>>
>
>I completely identify with your birthing/labor analogy!
>
>>>What I had assumed was to be a most beautiful and wondrous birthing
>>>experience of Self, and a repeat performance of my mystical experience of
>>God
>>>became the MOST frightening thing anyone could ever experience -- facing
>>>yourself in all its illusions -- seeing the ego and its workings, the
>world
>>>and its illusions. It was too much to bear -- the remembrance of how long
>>>*I* had been here, how robotic the world is and how we pull each others
>>>strings, just as puppets. I took it as *truth* instead of lifting the
>>veil.
>>> I thought I had failed God and myself because I wasn't strong enough to
>>look
>>>at this with *open eyes*.
>>>
>>>This sent me for a tailspin in a downward angle for 6 months, where I felt
>>>completely disconnected from God.
>
>Boy, I've been there!
>
> Nothing I could do would help me
>>>*connect*. I felt I was being punished, banned.
>
>That is such the way we are inclined to interpret isn't it? Reward and
>punishment for being good or bad? But after a while we see that is our
>illusion.....that there is no separation in darkness. It is only our
>perception of darkness "disconnecting us" that leaves us feeling separate
>and alone. I think for me I had to experience God in the dark night....to
>experience that this too was love....and such tender attentive love at that.
>I had to get there.
>
>My external life was also
>>>in chaos, but none of that mattered. I only wanted to *feel* God in my
>>life
>>>once again, but there was no one there.
>
>Doesn't that make you wonder about our preconcieved notions of what God
>should FEEL like?? Just me opinion here, but I think our attempts to box
>God into catagories perpetuates the experience of the disconnectedness of
>the dark night. We get out of a box to find another box we've made....at
>least, I'm speaking from my expereince here.
>
> It was THE worst experience of my
>>>life... even moreso than when a little less than a year later, I
>>experienced
>>>insanity trying to reach God when my crown chakra blew once again.
>
>********************** At
>>least
>>>when I was *insane*, I knew God was with me.*****************YES!
>
>I absolutely love that last sentence. May I say "amen" to that! I'd love
>to quote that! Beautifully put!
>
> The Dark Night of the Soul is
>>>truly soul-wrenching, where I would literally wake up during the night
>>>sobbing or moaning because of the separation I felt.
>>>
>>>Six months later, the dark night was lifted. I felt connected once again.
>>>Nothing external happened... it was some sort of an internal shift.
>
> During
>>>this horrid 6 months, many wonderful and beautiful healers appeared in my
>>>life - reiki masters, love healers, healers that worked with angels,
>etc. -
>>>all offering their gifts of love and healing that I hadn't (externally!)
>>>asked for. Looking back, I can see I was never disconnected... but the
>>>feelings I had, caused by my own assumption that I failed God in some way,
>>>caused the separation.
>
>I personally agree with your conclusion just based on my own experience.
>Thank you for sharing, and these polls are great!
>
>>>
>>>Thanks for the polls!
>>>
>>>Love,xxxtg
>>>
>>> That's my little piggy bank of dark nights for you, and it's not even
>a buck sixty-eight!
>
>(Not that I'm asking to grow wealthy in this realm of knowledge. What am I
>stupid? Matter of fact...have been known to be foolhardy, but hey, it's
>late.
>Goodnight all!
>
>Love,
>
>StephpATnospamflash.net
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>
>
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