To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/06/29 05:18
Subject: [K-list] Jennell shares
From: A. Erhart
On 1999/06/29 05:18, A. Erhart posted thus to the K-list:
On Tue, 29 Jun 1999 21:53:38 Jennell wrote:
>None of these kind of things involve 'perspective' as to
>'how' one percives them.Many such things ARE a part of healing, growth,
>for that person, but still, they are not fun and bliss to expereience,
>especially when one doesn't even know what it's all about. Or that have
>only the 'bliss' stories as a basis for what they are expecting.
>
>All of us that have k are in the same boat, so to speak. Those who's
>expereiences have (at least this far) been only pleasant are, i'm sorry,
>being arrogant, thoughtless, and unkind if they take the view that that
>is because they handle it better, know more, and that the negative stuff
>others expereience is something of their own faults for not knowing how
>to handle it better. And we need to be aware that perhaps we just
>haven't expereienced some of those things yet, but might in the future.
>although I speak of my k awkening as 4 yrs ago, that was the full 'blow
>open'.
>I'm NOT trying to be negative, or critical of those that haven't had a
>rough time of it, just trying to point out sincerely and realistically
>that all need to understand, for themselves or others, it is NOT always
>all fun and bliss.
OK ppl !!!
I*m sick and tired of this.
I have be trying to resolve this in a healthy and
balanced way and not feel perturbed by this person*s
rantings, but I can no longer and will no longer
stand for it.
My annoyance and sadness at being asked to shut the hell
up because I happen to have another view than some
ppl on this list,
at being asked to waste time reading other ppl*s
stupidities for which there are no good advice,
and in addition, being /fucking/ questioned on
the truthfulness of my own experiences,
even downright called a liar and a cheat,
having
my own loyalty to truth and the Self put to doubt
is just too
much for me to bear at this time.
I must bitterly conclude that this is what you get when
you confuse your bloody self with the doer,
as in re. trying to turn the talk on this list
to something
other than a judgmental mire of self pity and confusion.
I was hoping, during the last purge at this list,
when there seemed to be some consensus that all
topics and all kinds of sharings was to be had here,
that this list could be some of a sanctuary against
the ongoing judgment and abhakti out there in the rest
of the world, but I see that as above, so below,
as without so within.
Those in the rut can obviously not
stand to see other ppl not in
the same place and feel the strong need to make another
pound of minced meat of them.
Yes, for those of you suspecting that I am speaking out
of pure ego, that is absolutely true.
Being asked to shut up is something I have experienced
all my life, because the society I grew up in put
a heavy emphasis on that ppl were supposed not to think
"they were somebody" or that their opinions, views and
experienced counted.
I must conclude that that is the will of some ppl on
this list too and I shall happily oblige as I am dead
tired of fighting the wrong perceptions of other ppl.
I won*t resign from the list, but go into read only
mode and use the delete button to my own advantage
without reading certain incoming posts.
Thanks to all who have shared openly of their
experiences and nearly made the list to what it could
be.
I am now going on to make my own mistakes, not
sitting like some fool listening to those of
others.
Regards,
Amanda.
Angelfire for your free web-based e-mail. http://www.angelfire.com
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