To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/06/18 11:42
Subject: [K-list] Overwhelming Affects of Kundalini
From: Amanda Erhart
On 1999/06/18 11:42, Amanda Erhart posted thus to the K-list:
New questions, new answers...
These are questions I must ask myself...
On Wed, 16 Jun 1999 15:39:42 StPaisley wrote:
>First let me start off by saying that I just discovered yesterday I've had
>what's called this Kundalini Awakening.
I'm happy to have found out what it is.
It will surely make me feel less worried.
>There's time where I feel that I'm losing a grip on >who I am...
Still, there is always a me watching the losing of the
grip. Who can this be but Me ?
>I have the automatic yoga positions, the extreme sex drive, visions, aching
>muscles and throbbing areas where the chakras are, my third eye is only
>constantly, I have no clue how to shut it out and it seems as if I'm
>'battling with Fate'.
I should not battle. Peace starts in the heart.
Balance is what should be strived for.
>I have the 'wonderful' ability to see too deeply into
>to people anymore, I've become empathic
Seeing other ppl's pain teaches me about my own and
shows me that we are all indeed one.
To understand others' pain is to understand my own.
To remedy other ppl's pain is to remedy my own.
But sometimes, pain should not be remedied, only
understood and cherished and let go of.
>I have a tendency to just fall
>into these little worlds that manifest themselves to me...(whether that's a
>symptoms of the K, I don't know.)
K is me, the one I am in the deepest and most truest
sense of it all. All aspects of me are aspects of K.
>I can't sleep at night, every time I close
>my eyes I'm staring in oblivion, and I feel like I'm losing the sense of
>self, it's terribly hard for me to keep myself grounded on this physical
>plane,
I'm on another energy level now, the one shared by all
living beings. It's an alien place, but with time it
may start to feel like home.
>I'm slipping in and out of the astral plane everyday, I have these
>bizarre tendencies to become paranoid over the smallest thing, I have fears
>of being locked up for this, because all these symptoms sound like someone
>who is mentally ill.
The fear of going insane or being insane makes me
feel locked up inside myself and makes the stress
and tension worse. The symptoms get worse and I wonder
even more whether I'm on my way to the loony bin.
The fear is a contraction of the soul and fears
makes K flare up as K is protective of self and
comes in crises. When fear is released, the contraction
will loosen and energies flow more easily.
>just today I started seeing blockages in other people's chakra systems, and
>at time I'm in such physical pain it feels as if my body is allergic to
>itself.
Maybe I can start using the ability to see other ppl's
blockages to try and see blockages in myself.
There must be some as I'm in pain most of the time.
>I can communicate with beings not on this plane.
Maybe I can ask these beings about my condition,
maybe they know good advices ?
>I've been seeing this liquid light over
>everything for months, before I became concerned about anything, my mind
>splits between this plane and the next...or how many >others...
I throw the emotions into the flames of K. No matter
how many or how difficult they are, they are still good.
They show me who I'm really are and the face
underneath the mask. They are here to be looked at
to learn about my own reaction patterns and how
they can be changed to more conducive patterns of
behavior.
>I've been put into contact with past lives, Vivid past
>lives, and I can experience them from where I am now...not even drifting into
>a dream state...
The past lives tell me who I am, who I used to be,
why I react the way I do, even why the Kundalini has
entered my home in this life. The past lives are
important lessons about how we all did and was anything
and anyone possible in the past.
The past lives also tells me that death has no power
except as momentary liberator or momentary hiding
place. No one can hide forever.
>I've even begun seeing other's past lives through >them, I can 'sense' them.
The past lives tell me that we are truly all One.
>I have short term memory loss, with the K flares up badly,
>it's hard for me to remember one thing to the next.
My mind skips like pebbles thrown on water.
I have to turn both the radio and the tv on to
be able to shut things out.
Is there something my mind is circling in or trying to
show me. Inside the mind there is always a calm me
witnessing what is happening. Maybe I should let the
mind run its onw course ?
>I
>didn't ask for this thing...but I'm also told you >can't reverse the processes either.
I didn't ask for this, but I realize anything could
have happened to me and may. I can get ill, I can
get run over by a car, I can get killed by a passing
stone from a quarry blast or a falling flower pot any
day. Anything can happen any day. The feeling of control
is illusory. K is only part of the lack of control.
I can't do anything but calmly abide and accept my
lack of control even though I would have preferred to
live in the illusion of control.
>I know that the Kundalini is somehow unblocking my chakra system for it to
>flow through there unblocked, but I'm worried by the time that that happens,
>there won't be any mind left in me for it to be of use to.
As long as I witness these things, there is a me.
But what have I got to lose ? Am I so different from
all others ? What is my mind but a lose aggregation of
old perceivements and reaction patterns ?
I have gotten used to the feeling of having no face,
of being without meaning or opinionating. Of sharing
the I with all others.
>Surrender...? Let Go....? Let the Kundalini take my >soul?
Maybe I should read books from other ppl who have
gone through the same as myself ?
Maybe knowledge would enable me to let go of the fear
and sense the deeper relation between k and myself ?
Maybe this is a path to be walked like all other paths.
The past lives have told me that living is all there is.
Now I have a chance to change everything for the future, a chance to finally be Me.
Over and Out.
Best regards,
Amanda.
Angelfire for your free web-based e-mail. http://www.angelfire.com
DISCLAIMER!
Home | Archive Index | Search the archives | Subscribe
K. List FAQ | Kundalini FAQs | Signs and Symptoms | Awakening Experiences | K. list Polls | Member Essays | Meditations | List Topics | Art Gallery | Cybrary | Sitemap | Email the moderators.
symbol.