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To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/06/10 09:53
Subject: [K-list] healing
From: Matthew Bastress

On 1999/06/10 09:53, Matthew Bastress posted thus to the K-list:

Hi,

I've been gone a while. Nice to see familiar names.

I wonder how a teacher/healer transcends aversion to suffering.
It seems a vulnerable position to attempt to heal that which
is content with pain. There is a great danger of presumption,
isn't there?

On the other hand, once I wanted more than anything to rid
myself of the suffocation of shame and self-awareness to the
point of not caring or my life. I was naive and acting
unconsciously.

What happened was dramatic. I succeeded. Only thing, it was
like seeing everything from a new perspective and it felt as
if an unborn child had been snatched from my womb. Innocence
of mind was thrown into a dissonance of intruding personalities.

I have always been aware of an intervention of sorts in my
case. Whether it was one who wanted to help me, or simply my
desire to free myself from my cage, I'm struggling to come to
terms with a sense of good intentions tainted by naivete.

Being cesarean-born amplifies these symbols for me.
Snatched from the cage... I might have died in there. But
part of me wanted a proper birth or none at all. Kinda
grim. Kinda stubborn. Very happy to be able to see myself
now from more than the eyes of child, mother, doctor.

Matthew

Have any other cesarean-born out there seen this pattern
emerge?

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