To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/05/17 16:33
Subject: Re: [K-list] More Repressed Memory Coming Up
From: Holly N. Barrett, Ph.D.

Angelique wrote about how our mates have all the worst stuff our
parents had so we can work out issues with them. This is true, but it
gets even more fun: WE TURN OUR MATES INTO OUR PARENTS!! By
selectively reinforcing behaviors we shape our partners into the very
creature that drives us crazy (usually picking behaviors that we
thought were adorable at first). For example:

I am charmed by my husband's masterful assertion.

I start to get annoyed by his "need to control everything."

I try to control his controlling behavior.

He reacts by countering my aggression.

Ergo, "you're just as bad as my father!"

The happy upshot when you clear all this out, though, is even more
K-energy rushing through your body. Thank goodness for "issues" or
we'd never go searching for God. Holly

DISCLAIMER!

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