Kundalini Gateway Email List Archives

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To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/05/06 11:10
Subject: Re: [K-list] Seeking input from other seekers
From: molecularbreeze

On 1999/05/06 11:10, molecularbreeze posted thus to the K-list:

Domchi:
 But blackmailed people usually don't
>realize that it's the kidnaper who wants something from them, which is
>equally important...

Nancy:
> Stop worrying about him and his reaction. Change your focus to you.

It's true! I didn't realize! I have been feeling scared cause I've been
defining myself according to his response to me. I've been focusing on him.
I didn't realize I could be practicing my assertive skills, but still, at
the same time, be internalizing his reactions (to me), making myself out to
be a crum. Dammit, I am okay and who cares what he see or thinks or how he
acts. He can act like a jerk if he wants. It has nothing to do with me. I
am okay.

 I am not a little disheartened to realize that I am still posess the thread
that craves the approval of others. Well, thank you Domchi and Nancy. Your
words seriously assisted me to more awareness. But when I read Nancy's
superbly wonderfull profanity, I felt energized and stronger for some
reason. I would like to allow myself to call the jerk a fucking asshole.
Or tell him to go fuck himself before I hang up the phone. Or "Take me to
court you stupid fuck!" LOL! I'm all goosebumpy and smirking like crazy
at the thought of saying something to him like that. I wonder if there such
thing as therapy like that....

Connie

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