To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/05/03 10:07
Subject: Re: [K-list] Reflections on Pleasantness...
From: Holly N. Barrett, Ph.D.

How do I respond to the ego's laments? Oy vey, just after I wrote to
you I slid into my own apathetic funk where I still, mostly, reside.
>From here I don't see much to do except sit quietly and try not to be
too crabby with my husband and anyone who happens to be driving a car
in my vicinity.

The more interesting question is where "here" is because it feels like
nowhere: none of the temporary solace of ego gratification and yet
none of the deep peace of selflessness. The first time I hit this
space in a big way was last year when I first really SAW that the small
sense of self is a virtual construct -- doesn't exist. At first there
was joy, but a few weeks later came ennervation and apathy that were
bleak indeed. The subsequent visits to this locale haven't been so
dramatic and I suspect slow change occurs, albeit below the surface
where I can't see it yet. Holly

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