To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/05/02 01:16
Subject: [K-list] Intro II - layers?
From: Satu Sihvo
On 1999/05/02 01:16, Satu Sihvo posted thus to the K-list:
Hi!
Intro goes on. Two years ago I started doing some Chi Kung exercises to
take better care of my physical well-being (no health problems). There were
also some basic Healing Tao exercises as well, but did not know about the
origin at the time. They felt good but did not do them very regularly. A
year ago I fell in love and even though the relationship did not work out
well (or thanks to it :)), I woke up one night to a wonderful cosmic orgasm.
So, it came to my mind that perhaps it was not, after all, an absurd idea
to use sexual energy for spiritual purpose. There was a NLP congress and a
post seminar relating to sexual energy and I attended. I never got to the
practices. It felt that there was just too much energy for my little
understanding. I bought a book about Healing Tao and thought of doing some
simple things first. Never got into that either. I did my warm-ups and had
a plan, but Chi seemed to do what it wanted. At the same time I got a
"clear" contact with my inner leading. I was surprised but not worried.
So, I started to use an hour for warm-ups and meditation every day. When I
got to bed at night there was about an hour of "balancing". The same system
is still going on. At first I was just curious to see what would happen.
There were shakings and burnings and blissful states, energies circling
within and around, leaving and coming back, there were violet and golden and
light and dark. It did not occur to me that this might be somehow related
to so called kundalini. My problem was that I did not know anybody with
whom to talk about these things. I wrote notes. After some months I wrote
to someone practising Healing Tao and got a nice e-mail friend. A gift from
heaven :). Soon after that there was a meditation where sexual energy kept
flowing through the front part of the skull (above the forehead) for half an
hour. A new period had started.
During this period there were meditations with catalepsy and some warm-ups
with spontaneous movements, sometimes levitating hands. (I understood
catalepsy as a kind of safety thing.) Sexual energy was very much in use
and I did my first search on kundalini... Things seemed to progress
according to some definite plan. Now it makes sense to think that during
that period the extra-meridians were widened elsewhere but not in the head.
It felt like if there had been a kind of energy reservoir on both sides of
me (the outlets on the sides of the neck and close to the ears). Every few
weeks there has been a new period. During the next period extras were
widened in the head - I'll not easily forget all that energy traffic around
my ears and eyes... or having numerous "new holes drilled" to my palate...
Of course, my extras do not fit one to one with any of the meridian maps I
have seen... Well, no use for acupunture :). Then the channels between
body and head were connected. Meditations became more like energy rushing
up and getting out and then coming back and rushing down.
During the period still going on there has been like a combination of
different energies going up and out and then coming back and getting
collected to different chakras. Oh, I have loved this one... Even though
I have cried when dreams and concepts have crashed into pieces. But about
energy getting collected. I feel it going in and coming in - sometimes at
the same time. Like if I were in multiple layers. And I am not at all
sure about directions. What is upwards or downwards? Sometimes there is
like an energy field. Sometimes it turns to different directions at the
same time and it makes me feel dizzy. Where does energy disappear? Where
does it appear? It is not so simple any more. Are there really different
dimensions? And what does the sensation of being an energy balloon mean?
Energy goes somewhere and then I get this funny feeling of being filled. So
different from energy circling around or in channels or in my reservoirs.
This is getting strange. My inner leading suggested contacting the list
now... It has never failed me... Does this mean that dear kundalini is
going to stretch? Yeah, the suggestion made me a bit worried.
This far things have been rather easy - in spite of my occasional doubts
about sanity. The energies have been "on" mostly according to my schedule.
Sometimes they are "on" during nights, but I am a heavy sleeper. No
problems to take care of my work. I can hardly imagine what it is like when
energies go on and on... Wondered if I had "right" to write to this list.
But we share the process of taking steps to this far unknown to us.
Sometimes with a lot of faith, sometimes with uncertainty. We share efforts
to make sense of the awakening. And different explanations work for us.
And we certainly share being human beings with all kind of problems -
conscious and subconscious. I am grateful that there are people who share
their experiences / thoughts / poems on the list. Thanks to all of you.
Satu
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