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To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/05/01 06:53
Subject: [K-list] Too Pleasant
From: nancy

On 1999/05/01 06:53, nancy posted thus to the K-list:

I'm in a funk. Don't know what the cause is. Don't know what the issues
are. I just feel down.

It's just an overall dissatisfaction with my life. I feel stuck. I think
it goes back to the movie "Pleasantville." Everything is very pleasant
in my life. I have a good job, a darling daughter, a lot of people I'm
friendly with and a few good friends. I have enough money to support
myself and have fun from time to time. All is OK. So why am I down?

Maybe it's because everything is madly OK. I'm not growing or stretching
in my life either through pleasure or pain. Everything is
surrealistically even. I feel so sane it's crazy.

I recognize that there is this depth within me that wants to be
expressed. Yet I don't have the means to do that in my life. It seems
that I am in relationships and situations that don't offer this type of
support.

I asked myself yesterday, is it necessary for me to put behind all this
to move on? When I went through my life falling apart a couple of years
ago, I had to leave so much behind. Is it time to do it again? Or is
there another way for me to explore this depth without disrupting my
life?

I don't have many answers for myself, just a lot of questions.

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