To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/03/15 13:39
Subject: [K-list] chakras and medical problems
From: Gcwein1111
On 1999/03/15 13:39, Gcwein1111 posted thus to the K-list:
Hillary and Gloria: Thank you for your responses to
my post regarding my various medical "problems". I've tried so many things the
past 6 years, so far without success, and I guess my main hope is that in time
my process will run its course. Although I may or may not be able to benefit
from any specific suggestions, expressions of concern and support from
others(especially those who understand) are important to me. I hope I
haven't made anyone more fedrful of the process with my list of problems I've
developed because we all know that fear is not helpful in going through this.
I would instead offer that it's important to never lose respect for the
awesome power of the energy. I also wouldn't want to convey the message that
any attempt to manipulate the energy is necessarily dangerous simply because
of what happened to me. I think the specific exercises I was given were the
wrong ones for me--and I then probably made it worse by not immediately
discontinuing them as soon as I started having headaches(my teacher told me to
keep going!). I had a similar situation with the swami who I went to after
that for help. Half way through my last retreat with him I felt like I should
stop but allowed myself to be pressured by others to continue, the idea being
that one just didn't miss a meditation with Swami and that nothing bad could
come from him. Yet it was shortly after that when my problems really began. So
if there's anything to be learned there it may be to be very cautious with any
teacher or set of exercises, closely watch for any telltale signs and never
surrender dominion over your own process. I see k as the ultimate journey into
one's self----the hardest thing by far I've ever done---an experience that has
pushed every button I have and challenged me in every way possible--one that
has shattered me over and over again. I'm sure there are many on the list who
would agree with me even though we all have had experiences unique to
ourselves. A teacher may be important at some point in time, but he (she) is
obbviously secondary. As bad as this has been for me, I also know that my
heart is immeasurably more open than it once was--so I guess I'm secretly
hoping that whatever mistakes I made, this is simply the way I was meant to
learn what I needed to learn in this lifetime. Thank you once again and my
love to all ---jerry
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