To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/03/10 17:43
Subject: [K-list] Apology for my remarks
From: Llewellyn
On 1999/03/10 17:43, Llewellyn posted thus to the K-list:
Dear Connie, and list,
Glad to see you stayed on the list - it is a dynamic growth tool (at least
in my opinion).
> I liked the Eastenders too when I could get them,
This list, lately, has seemed like a soap opera and yes also cartoonish.
But then cartoons are great fun and although I do not like U.S. soaps, the
Eastenders has me hooked.
> You can state
> >whatever you want, as your opinion, or your point of view - but, when you
> >take on that holier than thou attitude - then I object.
>
> I don't hear the holier than thou attitude you write of regarding Cathy's
> posting(s). I hear an individual's perspective. I am on this
> list to hear
> the different views and experiences.
I suppose we each hear different aspects of anyone's posts and we of
necessity run that through our filter functions. I have tried to comment
about this aspect to the list and it does cause many over reactions.
Sometimes though, we just naturally react to certain vibrations that come
through in a message, just like we naturally react around some people in
person. I was frankly insulted and annoyed by Cathy's post. It did not
seem to me to be moderated with any "from my view point - this is how it
seems" rather it seemed to me to be a statement that claimed to know the
more enlightened understanding period. I appreciate everyone's special
connection to the source - but just as I do not suggest that my
understanding is for anyone other than me, i also do not necessarily buy
into another's understanding until that is verified by my soul and
incorporated into my essence. I was annoyed - but you are right, I should
have kept quiet - and i am sure that my posts annoy people - especially
since (in the past) I have received anonymous mail telling me to unsubscribe
from this list.
>
> A while ago, when someone on this list was saying they believed
> some women
> (people) "asked" to be abused, my anger switch tripped and I was all over
> this person with a rude, labeling attitude, because his comment
> hit close to
> home. Further, I was hurt and wanted to get off the list right
> away when I
> received a wrist slapping from Angelique for unleashing my anger here.
> These incidents increased my awareness of some things about myself that
> could easily continue to trip me up for a longer time. (Rightous victim's
> anger and my need for approval
Well, to me your reaction was natural and not that bad - to me it is an
issue of balance, to achieve balance it is often necessary to tip in the
opposite direction for awhile - your statement of chew it up and spit it
out - to me was not the same as spit at someone, the later being rude the
former just a strong statement that you were not buying any crap from anyone
and would defend yourself. But again people hear what they want to hear and
pick out the parts of posts that seem significant to them - we are all
imperfect filters - which is why communication can be so difficult at times.
You also were slapped for not snipping the post that you were commenting
about (I believe) :).
>
> Llewellyn, I know that you had your fill (understatement) of religion from
> others in your past. You are probably more capable that a lot of
> people to
> know what a purely objective spiritual deliberation is.
hmm, not sure if I would recognize a purely objective spiritual
deliberation - these words do not compute for me - to me spirituality is
subjective, that is, it is personal and part of the subject and can not be
separated from that person - the task of knowing oneself, to search within
oneself is to make a spirituality that is yours and not others (IMO).
'Deliberation' seems strange as well. Juries go through a deliberation
process to reach a verdict - spiritual decisions are reached by an
inspiration or a vision or an ah ha moment and then contemplated over to see
if that fits into one's wider understanding. 'Purely', in context with
spiritual is also strange to me, perhaps spiritual is a part of a mixture -
(do not know how to explain this - the thought is not clear in my mind)
About religion - I tend to be hypersensitive to that word - I suppose my
view on this is similar to Lao Tzu's - "when they lose their sense of awe
people turn to religion" - But yet from the little that i have gleaned from
posts, I understand that Cathy has a more personal and more Essene
"original" perspective of what that person called Jesus taught. I should
not have allowed my prejudices to color my words. And I really do not
understand what her perspective is, so I apologize.
> I don't want to run
> over people when they express there point of view anymore. I want to be
> objective in how I receive what they write. I guess that has to come from
> the inside out.
I probably disagree with you slightly here. I believe one should maintain
one's personal, subjective, perspective whether it is anger, annoyance etc.
But yes it is better to just recognize that, and say wow this is really
making me annoyed. After registering that feeling tnen say, hmm what is up
with this. I think that all emotions are okay - anger is good etc.. How we
deal with that emotion is the question. And perhaps expressing those
emotions in a reasonable manner is part of the growth process - perhaps
along the lines of being assertive, without aggressive or insulting.
>
> I think it is interesting what makes each of us angry.
Yes, we all seem to have those buttons that can be pushed - but then I was
thinking about how we are really working on helping each other remove chakra
blockages so the k force can flow more easily. And rereading Magne Aga's
post about how we develop these 'self protecting' mechanisms that end up
hindering our growth - this list allows us to explore these blockages and
helps to unravel them - and the issue of abuse and our method of interacting
with the universe with this filter in place is perhaps critical to
understand so we can dissolve that blockage.
sorry if I lost my cool and apologies to all,
Llewellyn
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