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To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/03/10 00:23
Subject: [K-list] Re: Relationships
From: Maureen Heffernan


On 1999/03/10 00:23, Maureen Heffernan posted thus to the K-list:

A couple of sentences in this letter concern me as woman and one who was
abused.
> eventually you must come to terms with
> your
> part in what you created in your life. Two to tango.."
> On
> soul level, victims and abusers make loving agreements to have various
> interactions and experiences within the realm of duality."
   * * *
   I'm not so sure I agree with all of this and I see where any
prospective abuser could use these sentences as ammunition.
  * * *
> We choose our birth, our families, our death and the form it will take.
  * * *
Who says? Sometimes I wonder.My twin and I chose to be at a hospital at
one year of age totally malnutritioned and neglected to the point where
the doctor had to cut the diapers out of our flesh because they had
grown as part of our bodies? My twin chose a mother who would place her
hand on a coal stove and burn the fingers together??We chose to live in
an orphanage till 8 years of age and be raped at 3 with broomsticks when
we didn't even know what the word rape was???
    I have rescued ematiciated,burned and beaten dogs as dog control
officer,(when it should have been human control officer).
    I have seen the shades,many gray shades of abuse.Some are outright
black and serve no purpose being just plain cruel.
    Having come from that life and also having met and helped some women
get a stronger backbone and stop putting out "signals" that they want
someone to walk all over them,I apologize but get real edgey (perhaps
aware is a better word )when I percieve some sentences that could be
worded differently. I took my brother in when he had no place to go
because he was "family".I put up with abuse no wife would because he was
"family".I had a mental picture of him reading certain sentences and
percieving them as a green light.I do not believe that I chose abuse and
I am far from being a "weak" woman.I chose family. I wanted to
experience family not abuse.
I threw him out years ago and hope he has gotten help.
  Not nitpicking here just had to express some thoughts.
Blessings to all,
+ Maureen

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